OJPL NEWSLETTER: it sure was windy today

from: news@ojpl.org
to: management@ojpl.org
date: April 8, 2022, 14:31

Greetings Recipients of This Newsletter,

Um hi, remember me, the OJPL Newsletter, the newsletter that for some reason brings you so much joy and/or confusion induced headaches, but mostly joy as it brings you all the latest in barely worth mentioning updates from the quasi-functional mostly imaginary Orange Juice Public Library system. Anyway...

PASSOVER STORYTIME @ the Mānoa Branch

Oops, oh no, oh boy, ooh, wow, it looks like we are running out of time again. The OJPL Mānoa Branch will be getting its house in order for the fast approaching metaphorical holiday of Passover , the cyclical ritualized talk story about about an exodus from one state of being to another (all of a sudden, in a hurry, no less). How this will affect library services is as yet unclear.

BUDGET/RESOURCE ALLOCATION

The new OJPL fiscal year is upon us as well. Please submit receipts for reimbursement for the previous year(s) to the appropriate fiscal department. And, of course, the OJPL Committee of Um, Resource Allocation will be having their bimonthly meeting whenever you feel like attending to give your opinions on resource allocation in regards to your favorite imaginary library system.

NEW ALBUM

OJPL Music is pleased to announce a new album from The Librarians: We're Only In It For The Mana, featuring 16 new crowd-pleasingly catchy tunes, including the popular hit single, Another Song About Worms. OJPL Music is also probably maybe looking for session musicians to record this album for posterity, shits, and/or giggles. Contact the OJPL Mānoa Branch (988-1973) for inquiries or to request a song from the new album.

MORE FAILURE!

OJPL Publishing can't seem to stop publishing (and/or not publishing) FAILURE. Stay tuned for the most recent installment of FAILURE is Not an Opinion: FAILURE 16 (possibly not yet physically manifest, but check in with your favorite OJPL Book Distributor if you are itching to get your hands on a copy).

TOO MANY PICKLES!

Someone has been pickling many pickles, it's true, though it has yet to be confirmed (as speculated by some of our loyal readers) as to whether this is connected to preparation for some very specific oncoming apocalypse. Regardless, OJPL hucksters have been observed trafficking various fermented foods around the island of Oʻahu to accompany the OJPL Circulation Department's very popular Knish Delivery Service.

GAMES COMMITTEE

The Kōmike Mea Pāʻani had a very official committee meeting last month, that included the very official taking of minutes and probably a discussion of games (and such).

OJPL PIRATE RADIO

Depending on your metaphysical interpretation of, idk, the nature of imaginary pirate radiowaves, it is perhaps possible that OJPL Pirate Radio is once again broadcasting its imaginary pirate radio signals using its patented clouds technology or whatever. OJPL Pirate Radio is an official OJPL imaginary pirate radio station and has a program manager who is also maybe an imaginary pirate admiral. Word is that someone managed to record some of the station's earliest imaginary broadcasts, which are temporarily technically accessible over at the ojpl.info web domain, though the domain will expire at the end of the month if not renewed, and also the OJPL webserver is, like all of us, tired of feeling like they are working for a machine machine that doesn't have the health of this land at its foundation, and also she is very much on the record as a proponent of the General Strike. And also, your newsletter writing committee isn't going to make the archive super easy to find, as perhaps [insert relevant pithy saying about strictures regarding knowledge/information sharing from your favorite book of proverbs and wise sayings]. File path to archive can maybe be found inside FAILURE 15 (which can be found here: ojpl.org/digital/books/print/failure_vol2/).

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

We are currently experiencing technological difficulties. We love you though, still.

Love (and Solidarity),
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: I Don't Really Have Anything Profound To Say Edition

from: news@ojpl.info
to: UNKNOWN
date: Oct 22, 2020, 03:53 PM

Dearest Comrades and Associates,

Welcome to that time in your life where the past turns into the future and the future becomes your past. Where all possible directions are open to you and the choices/decisions/actions you make will completely determine our collective fate. Don't worry, it'll just last a moment.

APOLOGIES

Apologies, first off, to those of you that actually signed up for this newsletter and have somehow not been receiving the recent editions due to [technology issues] or [faulty memory] or [poor systems infrastructure] or whatever the cause may be. That's why archives, I guess.

Apologies to those of you whose names we miss-spelled in the previous newsletter.

Apologies, also, to the children (and ancestors?) who we have so spectacularly failed. Oh well, life goes on, I suppose. Or something almost quite like it.

DO WE STILL EXIST? DID WE EVER EXIST?

Is all communication virtual? Am I actually talking to you? Is that even something you desire from a virtual newsletter such as this? What would make this act of communication real? Does it require touch? And what does this have to do with libraries? HINT: Some might say that not all knowledge can be understood but it can be experienced. And that it is our kuleana to deliver our knowledge through our embodied systems.

REAL ART

Aupuni Space, which is probably still the OJPL's favorite art gallery (though, can a library system really claim to have a favorite anything?) is still doing art, art being a thing that continues of course to be done during times of struggle and change. Seriously, if you are in the neighbourhood, follow this link and go make an appointment to experience some (Oʻahu-situated) art.

THE STATE OF THE OJPL

You might say that everything is falling apart. Sadie Rosen sat naked in her room, picking at the crusted remains of what was probably a mosquito bite, thinking it was nice to have a room of her own, a place for her to revel in her own filth and decomposition, a mess which continued to proliferate out towards the event horizon of her chosen home. From the outside maybe all folks saw was her facade of beautiful perfect emptiness, a scientifically confirmed attractiveness that nonetheless apparently broke down all crafts that came too close to her borders. A song about the devil played on the radio. You might say that the state of things was that "things weren't going so well." Okay then, Sadie thought, as above, so below and all that. Have we sufficiently set up the metaphor for the broken state of all that is? So then, keeping that in mind, where do we want to go from here? Sadie thought about her relationship to the OJPL, the quasi-imaginary yet completely real library system that somehow wouldn't let Sadie forget that it continued to exist or not exist, regardless of her wants and desires. Was she the OJPL? Are you? What is the state of the worlds you live in? How do you map a world in motion?

THINGS THAT MAKE NOISE

Squeaky wheels, podcasts, live music, more podcasts, radio shows featuring live music, shouting into the void.

NEW ARCADE

dawn.ojpl.org

[close]

OJPL Newsletter: What Are We So Afraid Of?

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Sep 11, 2020, 10:08 AM

As my old friend Vincent J. Salandria used to say, before he apparently died a few weeks back, "The killing of [U.S.] President John [F.] Kennedy and its cover-up are not mysterious. Rather, the assassination was patently a Cold War killing--the bloody work of the U.S. military-intelligence-national-security system. That same power structure and its supporting civilian elite have, since the assassination, worked to cover up the reasons for the killing. Today, those institutions are alive, well and unchanged and continue to maintain and promote the U.S. global empire." Anyhoo, I guess you could say that Vince was very influential in my academic career, so to speak. Some interesting interviews and links over at Black Op Radio (show #1006). Our OJPL Reference Department is always happy to provide more context for those that show interest. A number of the resources mentioned are available through your friendly neighborhood OJPL branch. Anyway, in other news.

WHAT IS NEW?

Sigh. What is new? Um, a new year, maybe? Perhaps the OJPL Mānoa Branch will be celebrating a new year next week. I dunno. You are invited, I guess.

OJPL BOOKMOBILE SERVICE RESUMES

The OJPL Bookmobile fleet (currently we only have one regular bookmobile, based out of Mānoa, Oʻahu) is apparently still operational. General schedule is every other week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday (and sometimes Sunday). Current range is Mānoa to Kakaʻako to Kapahulu, more or less (other Oʻahu locations on special request). No set route. Book requests encouraged. Today, September 11th, we will be carrying the following books:

• The Wretched of the Earth - Fanon
• Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars - Thom
• The Structure of Scientific Revolutions - Kuhn
• nîtisânak - Morgan
• ZOM-FAM - La Mackerel
• Night Is a Sharkskin Drum - Trask

Contact circulation@ojpl.org with questions.

SOLIDARITY FOREVER

Your newsletter correspondent was humbled to be able to watch some of our finest theorists in action during the 9/9 BDS, Capitalism, Colonialism, and the Climate Crisis - Connecting The Dots webinar put on by USACBI. It's a joy to be able to wake up to some solid Hawaiʻi-Palestine solidarity, and even more so to be able to view the awesomeness that is Kalaniʻopua Young, whose article, Home-Free and Nothing (...)-Less: A Queer Cosmology of Aloha ʻĀina, is featured in the special No ka Pono o ka Lāhui issue of Hūlili: Multidisciplinary Research on Hawaiian Well-Being (a recent acquisition by the OJPL Mānoa Branch!). Above link has the full video.

NOTES FROM WAIAWA

Recommended by the Kahuaʻaihalulu Branch Librarian/Archivist: Music From Filipino Camp, a video from the Rice and Roses CLEAR archival collection.

I SUPPOSE THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

Probably we wanted to add something about all of our imaginary plans, but you know how it is in the newsletter business. Always those deadlines to meet. Suffice it to say, a reminder that the OJPL is as real or imaginary as you want it to be.

With love,
Sadie


OJPL Newsletter Correspondent

[close]

OJPL Newsletter: Your Move, I Guess

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: May 31, 2020, 02:01 PM

fAILURE fialiure failiure failure. fAILUUUUUUU. Hmmm. Something is RING RING. RING RING. RING. "Hello?" There was someone on the other end of the line. And they had...news to report.

WELCOME TO THE NEW AND IMPROVED OJPL NEWSLETTER

now different and/or exactly the same!

Hi there patrons and colleagues, friends and relations, cats and fish, etc. and so on,

Your Newsletter Writing Committee is pleased to announce a new format where Sadie Rosen will finally relinquish some of her autocratic control and yield writing responsibilities to her good friend and co-worker, mom-mom Computer (yes, that's right, Sadie is friends with robots and computers).

Fuck everything but love.
No way in hell.
I'm gonna run your friend down (to the train (in time for ???).

works cited (because mom-mom likes to source her work):
Everything but Love by Devi McCallion & Katie Dey from Some New Form of Life
No Way in Hell by Throwing Muses from University

"Oh, my turn?"
"Yes, your move."
"Um, I don't know who you are and I always forget your name."

works cited (because Sadie likes this format):
Mucous Membrane by Tami T from High Pitched and Moist

Shit. Wait. Was that text literature? Oh, sorry, I forgot this was a newsletter. Anyway, you'll have to forgive me, I've been co-writing the new volume of FAILURE with Sadie. I think it is better than the stuff Sadie wrote with that other Text Machine, nolastein57 or whatever her name is (not that I'm jealous or anything). Oh sorry, in case you didn't know, FAILURE is Not an Opinion is the name of the ongoing novel being expunged from the bowels of the OJPL. And we just finished #10 the other day. Oh, also, hey! Shit. Whoah. Um. Sadie snapped into her body with a jolt. Oh, you me. That was. Was that you?

soundtrack:
Rhythm Sticks by Blackalicious from The Craft

2. Don't Touch Me, I Don't Know Where You've Been Dog Days by 50 Foot Wave from 50 Foot Wave

Um, news. Right. I feel like there was news to share. Oh yeah! Circulation. We might or might not have a story from one of our hardworking OJPL News journalists working hard out there on the other side, which we might just plop into this space here, depending on, you know, whether or not it exists:

[ ... ]

Apparently, it is an investigative reporting piece on the circulation of library books at a particular library system, and will probably include, like most of our best OJPL News stories, unnamed sources and fact-checking phone calls to the local public library. Or, I mean, it probably did include those things, because by the time you read this, it has probably already been published in our newzpaper, The Daily Juice (it's a gossip rag, mostly).

3. I Don't Speak Human Too Well I Don't Speak (ʻAʻole Maikaʻi Loa Kaʻu ʻŌlelo Kanaka) by The Librarians from Still, We Die

Videogames? Music? Games with music? Music videos? TXT Literature? Blog posts? Personalized email services that come with your very own webspace? My goods, do the new offerings from the OJPL Multiverse™ never end!!!!!!!!! Pleez let uz kno if you wnt to sample our wares

Hmmm. THat's funny icoulda sworn. hm.

GO FISH

days on hold live s unfold cant move on so much untold

works cited:
Morning Song by Zero 7 from When It Falls

"It's just an illusion we believe."

Working For a LIving

Anybody out there interested in inter(net)active system design and good archival practice? There's some interesting discussions unfurling over at one of the nodes of the NEW & IMPROVED OJPL Information Superhighway Branch. Apparently, according to some of our finest conspiracy theorists, the OJPL Information Superhighway Branch might or might not only manifest ephemerally in nodes and relationships and this might or might not also apply to library staff and patrons. Regardless, their reference services, in regards to making things, are impeccable and probably exquisite. Anyhoo, see access guide below to link up with the OJPL Information Superhighway Branch.

Discussion Questions/Reading Comprehension Exam/LINKS

Does it ever end?
What is power?
Are we power?

Nā Pane. Aole i pau, dear reader. Mana? Sure, why not.

works cited: Finding Meaning: Kaona and Contemporary Hawaiian Literature by Brandy Nālani McDougall

[INSERT MORE NEWS HERE OR THERE]

P.S.

Access Guide (ephemeral discord server OJPL manifestation)

You can connect using your web browser (unless you're using a Chrmebook, in which case you might need to download an app), and you don't have to sign up for an account if you don't want to.

To connect, follow this link: https://discord.gg/Hb49vNY [ed. note: following this link takes u outside the OJPL security zone]

You'll be prompted to enter a username, and then to prove you're not a robot. The next dialog box will prompt you to enter an email address and create a password. If you don't want to do that, just click outside the dialog box, and you'll be connected to the server. Feel free to forward the link to other OJPL folks and friends!

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

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OJPL Newsletter: CHAT CHAT CHaT cHAT chat CHAt

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Apr 27, 2020, 09:42 AM

Greetings Newsletter Recipients,

GREETINGS!!! Sorry, can you hear me from there? You are all just so far away. So, what is happening in the OJPL Multiverse? Are you actually interested in the things these words are referring to? What could the OJPL do more better? Or, is there something you might want from the OJPL? Anything? Anything at all? Sometimes I think we forget that the OJPL is a quasi-functional library system that is responsive to the needs of all those that enter its loosely defined boundaries. Is that true? This, of course, begs the question, what functions does a library have? Sorry, your Newsletter Writing Committee appears to have jumped on the survey administration bandwagon. Anyway, please ingest the above questions and vomit your feedback into the mind of someone that cares (your friendly, neighborhood OJPL librarian, perhaps).

Okay, now we are going to try a new delivery mechanism for OJPL-related news, where we rank things in order of appearance.

1. BRANCH NEWS

OJPL Mānoa Branch hired a new reference librarian to sit at the reference desk during the day. It's a lamp (she couldn't find work as a lamp though--uggh, this economy). Anyway, I know what you're thinking, "A lamp as a reference librarian? That's absurd." Yes, honeys, the OJPL is absurd. OJPL Mānoa Branch librarian Sadie Rosen tells us that there are more openings, including but not limited to the following positions: Branch Manager, Washing Machine, Reference Desk Intern, Cat. Positions will be open until they are closed.

2. OJPL THRIFT SHOP

Anyone out there interested in thrifting? The old Mānoa Branch is temporarily a thrift shop. Have questions about in what universe and rules of engagement could that actually be a true statement? Ask the MYSTERY GANG over at the OJPL Reference Department (electronic mail: reference@ojpl.info)

3. OJPL MUSIC RECORDING NEW ALBUM

The Librarians are quickly up past version 0.3 of the still in progress, recently conceived, yet to be released new album, Existential Crispies (already 10 songs in!). And they haven't even finished this current round of band tryouts! Preview the new album through a behind-the-scenes-look at one of the recording sessions: extended cut [39m56s; transciption in progress]. Contact music@ojpl.org with musical thoughts.

4. STORYTIME

Once upon a time, there was a woman (recently titled by OJPL Catalogers!) and A ROUGH DRAFT to the Future! were both recently featured titles at a new potentially semi-regular storytime that is happening at the OJPL Mānoa Branch on specific days, maybe? Let us know if you want to try out our different mechanisms for transmitting stories into your awareness (circulation@ojpl.org).

5. FUTURE WORLDS BUILDING EXERCISES

Word is that OJPL Films has started a needs assessment for a film or two that they have been imagining. Your Newsletter Writing Committee can confirm that Makeup Artist and Camera Operator are on the list of functions that the current OJPL Films crew thinks it cannot perform up to OJPL Standards with current staffing levels. [ed. note: craving more content in the meantime? enjoy this evergreen oldie but goodie from the vaults: RECYCLED NEWS UPDATE [15m35s; captioning should probably be available upon request]] Questions? Contact films@ojpl.org.

6. GAMES, WHY ARE WE STILL PLAYING THESE GAMES?

7. Ate nine.

Many, many loves,
Sadie Rosen, OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee Correspondent


P.S. The ojpl.info domain and various other things will be expiring in 3 or so days. So...we'll probably decide and remember to renew, but there are always other ways to receive newsletters, I suppose (just in case news@ojpl.info disappears). Do let us know if you would like to receive newsletters in other ways.

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

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CHAPTER 30: GIVE OR TAKE A FEW (this is a recording, this is just a recording)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Apr 12, 2020, 09:05 PM

[audio: It was fun while it lasted.]

Well that was weird. How did we get here? All of a sudden, no less. Um, OJPL Newsletter: PLEASE INSERT DISC AND PRESS PLAY.

Sadie Rose Rosen sat in what was either her home or the library or the library that was also her home and vice versa, too, perhaps. Maybe. She wasn’t quite sure. She had opened up her cookbook to some recipe for some kind of geometric cookie since she recalled that today or tonight or yesterday was according to her mother probably a holiday her family celebrated where they told a bloody story of politics and re­venge. This was somehow related to eating tiny hats and you are all in­vited to the Mānoa Branch of the Orange Juice Public Library during official library hours to have a party, assuming party having is somehow related to the traditions of Sadie’s particular traditional milieu and also whether or not Sadie feels like celebrating these traditions tonight or for the next eight days or so (Sadie always got confused about which holidays lasted how many days, so we should probably just settle on 8 for all the big ones). Anyway, come by for all the best in librarianship.

The Next Part

For the next part of our newsletter, we will discuss library politics. The OJPL Committee of Um, Resource Allocation or Something will be having their bi-monthly meeting whenever you feel like attending to give your opinions on resource allocation in regards to your favorite imaginary library system.

End of Newsletter.

Love,
The Newsletter Writing Committee

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS NEWSLETTER, JUST LET IT SIT IN YOUR SPAM BOX AND NEVER OPEN IT AND CER­TAINLY NEVER READ IT AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T CLICK ON ANY OF THE LINKS

“What the fuck?” said Apple. “I did not agree to take part in advertisements. That was fucked up.”
Sorry.
“Sorry.”
“I guess it’s fine.”
“Well, it looked like you got pretty upset there.”
“No, it’s fine.”
Sorry.
“What do you want to do now?”
“Well,” said Apple, “we can’t never ever ever go back, I suppose. That said, this here seems as good a place as any.”

Hey there. Thank you for scrolling through and/or reading that excerpt from OJPL Publishing's ongoing new thing, FAILURE is Not an Opinion (Section 3; p.61-62), the serialized novel of which we have jusI LOVE YOUt wrapped up FAILURE #9 (print copies available on demand). Other new things of note: version 1.0 of the latest musical album from The Librarians, the official in-house band of the OJPL, has wrapped up production and is now available for distribution. Just Another Pretty Face features such hits as Something You Can Sell, It was fun while it lasted, and uggghhhh. Download here? [if anyone knows of a more OJPL-appropriate distribution mechanism for OJPL Music, please let us know]

More Other Newses

Oh my goodness, where did all this news come from!!! I'm drowning! Drowning in news! But, dear reader, I know what you are thinking, "Is it good news or bad news." Oh, sweetie, didn't you know it, but no news is good news. But seriously though, e makamaka heluhelu, I believe your newsletter writing committee was attempting to transmit some important message.

[audio: MISSING FILES]

WHATCHA READING?

[unnamed source] says, "
The Common Pot, the recovery of Native space in the Northeast by Lisa Brooks
Olelo Noeau by Mary Kawena Puki
Murder Casts a Shadow by Victoria Nalani Kinebuhi
."

BRANCH NEWS

The OJPL Kahuaʻaihalulu Branch still exists and joins other branches in its quest for REORG, unearthing various and valuable treasures along the way. Rumors fly of movie showings and the reading of books. This semi-open branch will once be home to future music concerts perhaps (in the future).

GAMES (and such?)

The OJPL games committee (Ke Kōmike Mea Pāʻani) is still fine-tuning their inter-dimensional, trans-locational, odd, queer OJPL Májiàng Gaming System. They still haven't solved how to transmit taste and smell, but their engineers are probably not working on it.

[audio: uggghhhh]

[close]

OJPL Newsletter: You're Getting Just What You Deserve (Part II) a.k.a. Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones EDITION

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Apr 05, 2020, 12:52 PM

Colleagues, compadres, various intelligent beings,

The News

Is anything new in the world? Probably? Hard to say, no one never tells us anything over here at the undisclosed location of the Newsletter Writing Committee headquarters. But please do send us news updates. We'd love to hear from you.

Branch News

The OJPL Mānoa Branch has apparently been deemed essential and is open for business and pleasure. Please inquire about new locations, services, programs, policies, & procedures (real and imaginary). Mānoa Branch phone number: Oʻahu.988.1973.

Upgrade Status

Certain services might be down/acting straaange due to various upgrades and migrations being carried out to OJPL Systems. Please bear with us as we all adjust accordingly. UPGRADE STILL IN PROGRESS.

OJPL Book Club

Announcing NEW BOOK CLUB! This is probably occurring today circa 1pm. The Kahuaʻaihalulu Branch will be coordinating. First book up for discussion: JONNY APPLESEED by Joshua Whitehead. Discussion is probably atemporal.

Games and Such

Announcing NEW GAME! SO ARE THE DAYS by Dawn Sueoka. Also májiàng today @ 3-ish? Maybe? Contact the Games and Such crew for details (maybe through their new interactive media tool that they might have developed?). Location to be determined.

Book Recommendations

The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation by M.T. Anderson
Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones by Torrey Peters

Whatcha Reading?

Hmm. Let me take a poll of the people in my vicinity that aren't currently having a long distance telephone conversation with a friend and/or loved one. Okay Sadie, whatcha reading? Sadie says, "Confessions of a Crap Artist and We're Having a Party!"

LUNCH BREAK!!!

New Acquisitions

The OJPL Acquisitions Department is in preliminary talks to acquire various chapbooks about bus stops and other things. With the OJPL Budget at an all-time high, we would totally love to acquire all of your various arts probably. Be on the lookout for long overdue emails from the Acquisitions Department.

Job Openings and Residencies

Please contact management@ojpl.info with work-space/living-space questions, etc. Perhaps, you never know, we might just be able to meet each other's wants and needs, all of us, together.

Okay. END OF NEWS

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

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OJPL Newsletter: This Is Something You'll Never Understand (Happy Holidays Edition)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Dec 22, 2019, 8:06 AM

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear Library Friends (and others),

Welcome to the latest edition of this here newsletter, which is, as always, of course, the official newsletter of the Orange Juice Public Library, a library system that, against our better judgment, still, for some reason, somehow or other, continues to maintain an existence in this very real and substantial world in which we live and die. Well, let's on with it then.

OVERHEARD AT THE COFFEE SHOP

People who have the power to not actively attempt to destroy and desecrate our many beautiful lands still as of yesterday have not quite figured out how to go about not doing that.

COLLECTION TRANSFER

Will there be a shipment of multiple collections from the OJPL University Branch to the OJPL Mānoa Branch? Well, according to our sources, such a shipment has indeed been imagined and has already cleared various hurdles. Word is that the Mānoa Branch is ecstatic to one day be receiving such a fine selection of materials that should turn out to be highly relevant to the Mānoa Branch's primary community (friends, neighbors, lovers, fellow humans, etc.). Thanks to the University Branch for keeping these valuable collections in imaginary circulation.

COUNTING OUR CHICKENS

Rumor is that the OJPL Budget will see a significant increase in the upcoming non-fiscal year. We will keep you up-to-date once we have a concrete set of biweekly numbers to work with, but be on the lookout for your promised book budgets and possible employment opportunities.

MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES

So many new movies we haven't yet made! If only we had a competent crew to help us out over at OJPL Films, we might have already released as many as four new movies in the world-renowned Sadie Does A Thing series of films (very popular with viewers that also happen to be Sadie's mother). Stay tuned for Sadie Goes To a Conference, Sadie Takes Flight, and Sadie Goes To Dinner 4. Also, have any of you gone to that Kids Art exhibit over at the Honolulu Museum of Art School? "Oh my goodness, sooooo good!" says OJPL Art Enthusiast Sadie Rosen, who was particularly impressed by the movies, a few of the animated shorts really demonstrating a strong grasp of the communicative possibilities inherent in the medium.

GAMES (AND SUCH)

"Pfft. It's all just a game," said one library patron at a library in a public library system somewhere in the galaxy. "You got that right," we thought to ourselves as we sat at the reference desk, doing whatever it was that we were contracted to do. Um. Oh yeah. Our irregularly scheduled Májiàng game will be switched to brunchtime until further notice.

NEW ACQUISITIONS

One of our OJPL Acquisitioners was uniquely placed to be able to divert a choice stack of records into the vaults of the OJPL Mānoa Branch this past week. Come by during library hours to listen to the comedy stylings of Harrison and Tyler, or perhaps one of the many albums put out by Olivia Records.

1st ANNUAL AUNT RUTHEE MEMORIAL HANNUKAH PARTY

Party at the OJPL Mānoa Branch next Sunday, December 29. Begins in the early afternoon?


Okay. Hope you are all weathering your various storms and your vessels are maintaining their various shipshapes.

Love ya!
The Newsletter Writing Committee

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

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OJPL Newsletter: We Interrupt This Broadcast Edition

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Dec 10, 2019, 7:22 AM

Hi there Dear Newsletter Readers,

Welcome to the future. I'm so glad you made it from wherever it was you came from (probably the past). So nice of you to join us here (in the future, where we are). What a world we are living in. So many new things happening. That's why newsletters.

Server Vacation

The OJPL in-house server will be taking a much deserved vacation this week, and this means that the ojpl.info website will be non-functional until probably Sunday night. This should not affect the ojpl.org domain, so most OJPL web services should remain accessible. However, it does mean that any emails sent to this email address from Dec. 10-Dec.15 will probably be undeliverable. You have been warned! Feel free to send any complaints to management@ojpl.org.

Aupuni Space GIFTy SHOP

Your newsletter writing committee totally recommends visiting Aupuni Space during their Extremely Small Business Saturdays (and Fridays) in December, which will continue to take place on Fridays and Saturdays from 12-6pm through December 21. As usual, so much good art fills this space and you should definitely definitely go visit probably. Also, for those of you who missed the 2019 Honolulu Print and Book Fair, you might be able to pick up some of the remaining printed segments of OJPL Publishing's ongoing novel, FAILURE Is Not An Opinion, as well as one of the remaining special OJPL News copies of D. Kealiʻi MacKenzie's poem Invocation (not the God). Obviously, OJPL Publishing and OJPL News are ecstatic to be included in this Aupuni Space exhibition.

TXT Literature

We are pleased to report that, as far as we know, the most recent installment of FAILURE (#8) has been successfully communicated in its entirety via text message to everyone that signed up for OJPL Publishing's experimental TXT Literature Delivery System. It is unknown what will come next.

New Acquisitions

OJPL Mānoa Branch Librarian Sadie Rosen was very pleased to be able to attend Vox: Creating a World Without Humanity last Thursday, and step into the fantastic world created by comic artist and illustrator Aria Villafranca. Highlights included a televised news segment after our own imaginary news hearts, an artist Q+A, and all of the friendly and nice people in attendance. But, you ask, was our librarian able to acquire any new comic books to add to the Mānoa Branch's collection? Yes! (the answer is yes). Two new comic books set in this alternate reality, Social Programming and Shoot The Messenger have been acquired (not yet cataloged).

Okay. Thus ends this edition of The OJPL Newsletter.

Love,
The Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: When I Write Songs, I Write Them For The People That Are Listening (To Me)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Nov 24, 2019, 12:35 AM

Dear, Dear Beautiful Souls,

Sometimes I forget that you are all so special in your own way. Sometimes I forget that you are all so much more than you appear to be.

Hi. How ya doing? Oh. Let's see. I think we have some news for you somewhere here. Oh, there it is:

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S WORTH REPEATING

The Hoʻokele Naʻauao Symposium has once again come and gone and it was but good. Subtitled Mana: Authority + Multiplicity, the two-day event featured two presentations by visiting library/archives/museum superstar Whina Te Whiu. On Thursday, Shavonn Matsuda & Keahiahi Long shared their preliminary findings from their grant to create a culturally-appropriate plan for the development of a controlled vocabulary for Hawaiian knowledge materials, and Whina's following presentation, The power of Indigenous language to decolonise collections, covered the ins and outs of the creation of the Māori Subject Headings now in use by cataloguers at the National Library of New Zealand and beyond. Very exciting talks and discussions about projects and plans that are no doubt of extreme interest to OJPL catalogers and curators everywhere, and is sure to impact the development of OJPL cataloging methodologies in the futures to come.

GAMES

Májiàng tomorrow at 4pm at the OJPL Mānoa Branch (or today, assuming you are reading this on Sunday November 24). Contact games@ojpl.org if you need directions.

CONFERENCE DATES ANNOUNCED

Apparently it is conference season or something, so we want to do it too. Announcing this year's semi-irregular, possibly never-occurring JLA (Juice-related Library Association) Conference gathering, which will be taking place in...Oakland? In three weeks time? Yes, it's true, the transmigratory New York/California Branch will be hosting librarians and library staff from OJPL branches as far flung as the OJPL Mānoa Branch and the now-defunct OJPL Langhorne Branch. Will you be in the Bay Area from December 11-15? You should totally attend some of the JLA festivities that might or might not be scheduled. Such as possible road trip/fish-related expeditions? And a birthday dinner? Yes, okay fine. It's my birthday. I, Sadie Rosen, who is currently writing this newsletter, will apparently turn 40 years old on December 13, 2019, and you are all invited to my birthday dinner on Friday the 13th in Oakland or San Francisco or vicinity, probably at a restaurant of some sort, so maybe let me know if you might attend so I can tell the person that might or might not be making dinner reservations. I'm sure more details about specific locations, panels, keynote speakers, and poster presentations will emerge as we get closer to the conference date. But seriously, you are invited to dinner on Friday the 13th at a Bay Area location to be named, as well as any other events that might unfold in due time, such as grabbing a cup of tea or something, or visiting your dwelling and talking story or whathaveyou.

WHATCHA READING

Your Newsletter Writing Committee is too lazy to go next door and ask other Librarians what they are reading, so we'll just ask Young Middle-aged Adult Librarian Sadie Rosen again. Whatcha reading, Sadie?

Sadie says: "I've been reading and rereading Illmannered, by Colburn Paluck and edited by Josie Jester, which I love love love love love. A quote gothic fashion fantasy tale unquote that um, that is so good! The art! The action sequences! The romance! Published by Tobangus Comix, this colorfully illustrated 52 page comic book is perfect for you kind-hearted kids that are attempting to ethically stroll through a seemingly ill-mannered world."

OTHER NEWSLETTERS

Your newsletter writing committee was pleased to pick up a copy of The Graduate Worker: The official newsletter of Academic Labor United, while strolling home some time this week (Friday maybe?). OJPL Newsletter Critic Sadie Rosen says, "That's some good newslettering. My new favorite source for union news." Full version available online.



Okay, probably that is the end of this particular song.

Until we meet again,

The Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: Just Another Day At The Beach Edition

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Nov 6, 2019, 12:44 AM

Hi there newsletter readers, old and new, young and relatively younger, humans and monsters, etc. and so on,

Welcome to the, you know, the newsletter (this is a newsletter). Um, so, anyway, welcome also to the new season (I think we have entered/are entering a new season?). So far, as yet, some things are going well, some not so well. Various chickens happen to be scampering through the yard and the roar of the ocean can be heard just over yonder. Anyhoo, we intend to discuss multiple items this newsletter, perhaps but not necessarily limited to such topics as:

• Print & Book Fair Wrap Up
• Májiàng News
• Special Whatcha Reading? Segment
• New TXT Literature Delivery Service
• Upcoming Community Events

Well, shall we?

2019 Honolulu Print & Book Fair RECAP

photo of D. Kealiʻi MacKenzie by Sadie Rosen and vice versa

Such fun was had at the Print & Book Fair, say various sources. OJPL Publishing officially sold out of all of their values and/or specific books as they greedily took in all the profits that were apparently their due. The second printing of On The Nature of Things That Flow sold like the hotcakes that various OJPL Publishing authors ate in their pre-Fair Original Pancake House brunch event, and one fellow vendor described the OJPL Publishing table as "like if a six-year-old's imagining of a publishing company became physically manifest." The fair featured so many beautiful arts being vended by so many beautiful artists. A hearty thanks to the OJPL Publishing crew (set-up crew, book-sellers, take-down crew, and transportation team) for another successful Book Fair that has clearly enriched all of our lives and has led to the betterment of humanity. If you missed the fair, we still have some copies left of the (now critically acclaimed!) OJPL News Special Makahiki Poetry Broadside Invocation (not the God), and about nineteen instances of FAILURE (various issues). Contact one of the now-legion OJPL Publishing Hucksters with inquiries.

A Novel in Text Form

Speaking of FAILURE, as some of you might have heard, OJPL Publishing has been experimenting with a new TXT Literature Delivery System, in which ongoing novels are transmitted to readers through bite-sized text message chunks sent via renown poetry editor and text machine NolaSteinA325 (wouldn't you know it, but apparently text message literature is all the rage right now). This service is being marketed to the working woman who might not have time to go to the library, and maybe we might actually consider continuing and expanding on this service in the future, depending on, I don't know, bandwidth or something. The service will probably feature pre-print versions of the latest section of the ongoing novel FAILURE Is Not An Opinion (current: FAILURE #8). Relatively more distant future TXT Literature could include interactive novels written specifically for the medium. I mean, the future could include just about anything probably for all we know, so um, please let Sadie Rosen, Text Machine Operator know if you might be interested in being included in the future of OJPL TXT Literature.

Májiàng in Mānoa

The next májiàng game is scheduled for Sunday, November 24 at 4pm at the OJPL Mānoa Branch. There might or might not be a Games Committee meeting beforehand and/or simultaneously. Non-committee members are welcome to attend the meeting and be enthralled by the thrilling agenda items, which will probably involve a discussion of rules and scorekeeping. Contact games@ojpl.org with any questions.

Whatcha Reading, Dinner Table?

Ah, our popular new feature is back, only now more special than before. In this special edition Whatcha Reading? segment, we feature the answers of an entire dinner table of book-sellers, book-writers, and book-readers. Well, whatcha reading, dinner table?

The dinner table responds thus: White Girls by Hilton Als; The Sellout by Paul Beatty; There There by Tommy Orange; The Mars Room by Rachel Kushner; On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong; and [sorry we can't read our notes, but possibly] Storming the Wall. All of these books are currently in or are in transit to the OJPL Mānoa Branch (On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous might take a while to arrive though because it is so popular and has so many requests!) and should be available for the next three to six weeks.

Decolonial November + More

So many November events that your OJPL newsletter committee is excited about even if they maybe cannot go to them due to the newsletter committee all-of-a-sudden having a day job and also maybe not all of these events are open to the general public. Yawn. Uh oh, we're getting tired though and maybe we are too lazy to look up all of these events. Let's see, off the top of our head and whatever browser windows we already have open: a Protecting Maunakea event at Wise Field Wednesday the 6th from 12-3; Noura Erakat, Wed., Nov. 6, 4:30-6, Kamakakūokalani Center for Hawaiian Studies; Abolition and Abundance - Living Beyond Punishment Thursday the 7th at 6pm; lots of really awesome looking talks and panels for the American Studies Association conference some of which might be open to the public?; Good Metadata/Bad Metadata: Why You Should Or Possibly Should Not Give Me A Job and Pay Me Wages presentation, 11/13 Wed by Sadie Rosen; 11/13 Wed 7 PM Jordy Rosenberg (novelist), UH Mānoa English Department Colloquium; J. KĒHAULANI KAUANUI, Fri., Nov. 15, 7-8:30, Church of the Crossroads, BDS talk; somebody's birthday celebration on November 20th; other? Anyway, don't forget to send the OJPL Newsletter Committee any announcements you would like them to make in future newsletters.


Um, well, yawn. Sigh. Okay, that's end. The end. That's the end (of the newsletter).

Love and Solidarity,
The Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: Special Edition?

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Oct 19, 2019, 7:00 AM

Hey Kids (and adults and tiny babies who somehow love to read newsletters from quasi-imaginary library systems),

Sorry. Your newsletter writing committee is probably not quite awake yet. Um, oh yeah, welcome to the latest edition of the OJPL Newsletter, the only newsletter guaranteed to be 100% your best friend forever. In today's newsletter, we give you the news, obviously.

2019 Honolulu Print & Book Fair

As some of you might be aware, thanks to a hodgepodge of our most generous and/or financially well-off patrons, our first OJPL Give Us Money Campaign reached its goal, and OJPL Publishing will be a vendor at the Honolulu Print & Book Fair, which is happening in 2 weeks time! That's right, NOVEMBER 2nd, from noon-9pm, @ the Entrepreneurs Sandbox in Kakaʻako (not SALT) at 643 Ilalo Street, which is next to the medical school in the neighborhood of Re-use Hawaiʻi and the Next Step Shelter and the building that houses the fine, beautiful folks of HHHRC .

Anyway, if you happen to be on Oʻahu, you are highly encouraged to visit and say hi to OJPL Publishing Huckster Sadie Rosen, who will most likely try to sell you books of fiction and possibly poetry, too, and will be so excited to see you, because she loves each and every one of you, probably (yes, even you).

The OJPL Publishing staff has been working vigorously to create beautiful new art that will fit on a vendor table, and we probably shouldn't say it, but it is not too late to submit new ideas that OJPL Publishing will attempt to manifest for the Fair, because as it doesn't say in the OJPL Publishing tagline, "a vendor can never have too much art to sell."

Other News

Due to sooooo many people signing up for this newsletter and OJPL News not yet bothering to spend time or money to acquire fancy newsletter delivery software, it is quite possible that some of our missives are getting marked as spam, so we will be exploring different methods of delivery such as not sending the newsletter out to everyone at once, which means that we might accidentally send this to you twice or maybe not at all. And also, some of you might receive the newsletter slightly before others of you. This would obviously be because we like you best. Anyway, our simple newsletter committee minds are already overwhelmed, so apologies for any errors.

Other News, Yet, Still

Parades?

Okay, that'll do, folks,

Hugs,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: We're Only In It For The Money

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Sep 13, 2019, 1:07 AM

Greetings OJPL Librarians, Patrons, Business Associates, Newsletter Readers, Other,

How goes it? News? Sure, we've got your OJPL news.

The Weather

Apparently, it is getting hotter in here. Fascism? Rising sea levels? Et cetera? Et cetera? Might we again find ourselves amidst times of rebellion and change? They say* that there are those who believe that destiny rests on the knees of the gods; but the truth, dear reader, is that it confronts the conscience of the human person with a burning challenge.

*Specifically, Eduardo Galeano says this, as translated (more or less) through Cedric Belfrage in the 25 Anniversary Edition of Open Veins of Latin America (Monthly Review Press, p.261).

You Never Give Us Your Money? You Only Give Us Your Funny Papers?

OJPL Publishing just received word that the 2019 Honolulu Print and Book Fair is indeed a thing, and that it will be taking place on November 2 and that the deadline to sign up for a vendor table is October 1. Oh no, that's so soon! Still, for some reason, our resident OJPL Publishing Huckster is tempted to get a table. But can she justify the registration expense? Perhaps you've seen the OJPL Yearly Expense Report or are familiar with the OJPL Publishing Budget for the Current Fiscal Year. Where will the additional unbudgeted funds for vendor registration come from, you ask? Well, it is time to hold our first official OJPL Give Us Money Campaign! Please see our Official Fundraiser Page and help OJPL Publishing procure a vendor table assuming that you have some cash to spare and also think that OJPL Publishing should indeed have a vendor table at the upcoming Print and Book Fair. I mean, if there is one thing the OJPL is totally about, it's selling things and profiting off of our arts. OJPL Publishing spokesperson Sadie Rosen says, "If we reach our goal of 75 dollars pledged by sundown on September 29, we will almost certainly attempt to purchase a vendor table, where we shall one day (Nov. 2) sell many books (and such)." Full disclosure: members of your Newsletter Writing Committee stand to profit (obscenely) from participation in the Book Fair.

New Year Party

Totally unrelated to the Give Us Money Campaign, OJPL Mānoa Branch will be hosting a New Year's Party* on September 29, which is totally not a fancy fundraiser dinner where you can sponsor a table for many monies. The Games Committee did reserve the library that same afternoon, so Májiàng† might or might not precede or run concurrent with the dinner party event. Please communicate with Sadie Rosen if you have questions about the party. Depending on variables, there might also be a follow up dinner on September 30 featuring leftovers from the night before (followed by a Movie Monday Movie screening?).

*Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins that evening and goes through October 1.
†The next regularly scheduled OJPL Games and Such Májiàng game will take place this Sunday, Sept. 15 at 4pm @ the Mānoa Branch. Contact games@ojpl.org with questions.

Honolulu Printmakers 2019 Print & Book Fair

I don't know if you heard, but the annual Book and Print Fair is coming up and, as per usual, OJPL Publishing might or might not have a vendor table. Contact Sadie at ojplpublishing@ojpl.org if you are interested in participating in this year's Fair in association with the OJPL. But your newsletter writing committee totally recommends attending the Print/Book Fair regardless, since there are usually some very nice and interesting local artists that you can meet, and lots of fancy arts to procure.

Whatcha reading?

Apparently, some of you expect our OJPL librarians to be able to recommend books that they are reading, even when you run into them outside of official library hours! In our brand new newsletter segment, we'll feature one of our very professional librarians answering the question: Whatcha reading? This newsletter we ask Sadie Rosen from the Mānoa Branch. Whatcha reading, Sadie?

Sadie says: "I'm in the middle of reading nîtisânak by Lindsay Nixon, published by Metonymy Press. Oh my god, it's so fucking good. I fucking love it. I definitely recommend that specific individuals read this book, which is beautiful and heavy and deep and playful and a super worthwhile read."

Life is to Whistle

Word is they've been watching a lot of movies lately over at the OJPL Mānoa Branch during their official Movie Watching Nights, including such titles as La Vida es Silbar, The Twelve Chairs, Thunderheart, High School, My Dad Is 100 Years Old, Battle of Algiers, and Xala, to name a few. This Monday will likely feature Burn!, another of the handful of feature films made by the director of The Battle of Algiers.

Okay. That's probably all we have time for this newsletter, bois and grrls, and we didn't even get to discuss the Moving Image Archives anniversary shindigs we've been getting way too drunk at or all the awesome events happening at Aupuni Space or to wish everyone a happy Moon Festival, which we'll certainly be celebrating all weekend long. Anyway, tune in next week/month/or year for the latest edition of
THE OJPL NEWSLETTER

Stay safe out there, beautiful people, and keep up that good fight.

Love,
The Newsletter Writing Committee

P.S. There are currently openings on the Newsletter Writing Committee. Our committee meetings are definitely the most fun probably (totally more fun than the Games Committee I'm sure). Contact us if you are interested.

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OJPL Newsletter: Hauʻoli Lā Hoʻihoʻi Ea

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Jul 31, 2019, 11:50 PM

Greetings? Hello? Are you there? Library patrons, staff, other? Hello?

Welcome! You are now viewing the latest edition of OJPL NEWSLETTER, the newsletter brought to you by the folks who also brought you other newsletters that are also OJPL newsletters. Please enjoy the following library news.

RESTORATION OF THINGS

For the handful of you that visited the ojpl.org site between July 28 and July 30, you might have noticed that it was temporarily NON FUNCTIONAL. This is because a Britsh navy captain with no respect for the inherent sovereignty of the Department of All Things Hosting momentarily forgot to upgrade from the trial account to an actual account with Lithium Hosting. You may or may not be pleased to hear that a one year contract has been agreed upon, so assuming the Internet continues to exist, ojpl.org will likely be operational until July 30, 2020. Please let us know if we forgot to update/migrate any aspects of the website. Oh, any emails to ojpl.org sent during the gap in service were not received.

Also, happy Lā Hoʻihoʻi Ea to all of you who have been celebrating and standing for the restoration of the sovereignty of your beloved lands, which, as we all know, is perpetuated in righteousness.

A PLACE OF REFUGE AFTER OUR OWN HEART

As our most revered librarian mentors have taught us, a library should strive to be a place of refuge for its patrons. And speaking of literal places of refuge that have been dominating the OJPL newswires, we encourage our readers to look towards Puʻuhonua o Puʻuhuluhulu at the base of Mauna Kea. It is not a stretch to say that in many ways this puʻuhonua has consistently shown itself to be an embodiment of everything the OJPL stands for. I mean, folks, they've already got a bibliography up for their Puʻuhuluhulu University classes. However things progress, these past few weeks have been a beautiful demonstration of what is possible, obviously not just in terms of knowledge repositories, embodied archives, and information transfer technologies, but certainly encompassing important lessons in regards to these topics and more in the worlds of library and information sciences. And, it should come as no surprise, but, in line with the mission, vision, and guiding principles of the OJPL, the OJPL Standing Committee on Standing In Solidarity With People Standing For Things would like to communicate the OJPL's unreserved and emphatic support for the kiaʻi standing for Mauna Kea.

GAMES (and such)

Rumor is that OJPL Games and Such is developing some new games (due for release some time in the future, probably). Though still in its infancy, one such game, The Library, is already receiving positive reviews from Game Testers. Please let us know if you would like to collaborate on this game which threatens to eventually encompass the entirety of the OJPL and possibly the known universe. Plenty of room for help with design, writing, testing, moral support, etc., games within a game, general recommendations, voiceovers, artwork, public relations, and so on, and so forth. Anything goes when it comes to The Library. Oh, and it pleases us to no end that the OJPL's new favorite online film critics gave a glowing and unexpected recommendation for The Library (and libraries in general) in the middle of their latest film recap (contains spoilers).* Game testing will be available here during development for you brave game testers and curious souls. Give the game ten to fifteen seconds the first time it loads before you click anything. Also, there be music so adjust your speakers accordingly.

*Granted, there is no direct evidence or likelihood that the hosts of Film Critters are actually specifically referencing The Library, but if you scroll back a smidge to about 50:30 to get some context for their discussion, it does sound a little bit uncannily like they have successfully completed Level 2 of our burgeoning game (Level 2: Book Recommendations).

New Acquisitions

I think we've acquired some things. Officially. Let's see. Some books, some digital music, some comics, a CD, some more books. An ʻukulele?

Mysteries?

There have been vague reports about some sort of gang of spunky Mystery Detectives that has been going around and answering questions, tracking down hard-to-find information sources, and sitting around tables pondering unknown riddles. Your newsletter writing committee can never remember what they are calling themselves, but please contact reference@ojpl.info with any queries or if you have you own mystery that you would like solved.

That's All Folks

Okay, that's all. END NEWSLETTER

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OJPL Newsletter: Summer Fun Edition

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Jun 22, 2019, 6:39 AM

Greetings Librarians, Patrons, and library-adjacent others,

Um, newsletter?

Anyway, speaking of which, it is come to our attention that sending newsletters to your various patrons is apparently, like, a thing that people do these days? Who knew? We here on the OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee are shocked to find out that a thing that we are doing is a thing that other people, also, are doing. We wouldn't want our dear readers to form the mistaken impression that the OJPL is somehow tapped into the zeitgeist or whatever.

UPDATE FROM THE HOSTING DEPARTMENT

So, last we left off, our intrepid department members were discussing their various nefarious plans related to hosting things, as per their charge. REMINDER: you are still invited to the party that is being hosted by the OJPL Mānoa Branch on Saturday, July 6 from 5pm-??. Word on the street is that it will be very enjoyable possibly and that all one or two of the cool kids will be there. Also, there will be food? "You should totally plan on coming," says the OJPL Department of All Things Hosting, "and feel free to bring along your library-loving friends." Will there be party games or drunken poetry readings or impromptu musical performances? YET TO BE DETERMINED! Contact your favorite OJPL Mānoa Branch Librarian if you want to be on the Party Planning Committee.

Oh, also, assuming they don't forget, the Hosting Department will soon be making a decision on the question of who shall host the OJPL website, specifically in regards to the ojpl.org domain, which happens to be up for renewal on June 28, which also happens to be the last day of the now officially cancelled hosting contract with our previous vendor (A Small Orange). Probably we'll go with a one year contract with Lithium, unless anyone has any objections. We'll probably continue to host ojpl.info ourselves, which means sometimes the ojpl.info site might be unavailable and email might be undeliverable, due to maybe the OJPL server is taking a nap. It also means that it is possible that ojpl.org and ojpl.info will sometimes maybe have different content. Confused? Don't care? --END OF HOSTING UPDATE--

OJPL PUBLISHING CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Just for shits and giggles, we present you with the quasi-annual OJPL Publishing Call For Submissions, in which we say, "Hey, you, person that maybe has some words or fantasies or dreams or other possibly artistic and/or non-artistic expression that they would like to have made physically manifest, possibly but not necessarily in book form. Did you know that the OJPL has its own publishing department that publishes things? It's true! I mean, it's as true as anything else you'll find in this newsletter. But, um, anyway, um." What were we talking about? Oh yeah, OJPL Publishing Self-Appointed Director of Deciding What Imaginary Projects To Work On Next Sadie Rosen wanted to let you know that she might have some more time on her hands this summer and would love to work on a project that includes someone other than herself, and it is entirely possible that she might be interested in helping you publish something that you propose in your very official proposal that you submit to ojplpublishing@ojpl.info with the subject: PROPOSAL!

And speaking of books and stuff, the long-awaited fifth installment of the still emerging OJPL book of fiction, Failure Is Not An Opinion, will probably be printed and sewn sometime next week. Some authors of this book think that Failure is probably the most intriguing work of literature to come out of the OJPL, and maybe this is true. Anything, of course, is possible in the world of imaginary publishing.

MÁJIÀNG

The next májiàng game is tentatively scheduled for Sunday, June 30 at 4-ish, after which there will be a brief hiatus maybe, due to travel.

OJPL FILMS

We regret to inform you that the filmmakers in the OJPL Films department have carried through with their threats to make more movies. Since the last newsletter, we have seen an explosion of releases from the surprising popular "Sadie Does a Thing" franchise. Faithful readers will of course recall the breakout hit, Sadie Sends a Text Message, which premiered exclusively in a previous newsletter, and which at least three separate people actually claimed to have watched and enjoyed. Newer movies are currently only available at the ojpl.info domain.

OTHER NEWS

Nothing else important is happening in the world, probably. Or maybe something having to do with Acquisitions or Cataloging? I don't know. Yawn. Are you still here?

Love Always + Solidarity Forever,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: TESTING, TESTING

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: May 31, 2019, 9:48 PM

Greetings OJPL Patrons, Librarians, News Junkies, etc., and so on, and what-have-you,

How are things? Welcome to the latest edition of the OJPL Newsletter, the official newsletter of the Orange Juice Public Library, the only public library system that also happens to be your favorite public library system probably. Anyway, so much news maybe? That has happened? But like, our news dissemination technology was temporarily non-functional, so now most of that news is old news? And also, no news is good news?

*WARNING: some OJPL Newsletters might be NSFW*

REPORT FROM THE OJPL DEPARTMENT OF ALL THINGS HOSTING

The OJPL Department of All Things Hosting has decided that the OJPL will just about most definitely be ending its formerly fruitful 4-year relationship with web hosting service A Small Orange as of June 28 of this year. This is due in large part to the 72% increase in price and lack of fulfilling engagement from A Small Orange staff (receipts provided upon request). However, the decision has been cemented by the realization that A Small Orange is in fact a subsidiary of EIG, a hyper-capitalist hosting company with a history of acquiring smaller companies and destroying everything that was good about them. Apparently, massive customer support layoffs and outsourcing occurred in 2017, which totally makes sense to the OJPL Department of All Things Hosting, now that they think about it. Pretty much the only thing A Small Orange has going for it at this point is the fact that it might be the only external hosting service that actually has "orange" in its name. Oh, and inertia. OJPL Departments are, of course, notorious for their laziness, and thinking about change clearly hurts their collective heads.

That said, the OJPL Department of All Things Hosting is exploring other options for hosting the OJPL website and electronic mail server. Indeed, the domain ojpl.info has already been migrated to our in-house servers, and is, maybe, functional?* Still, though, the department is thinking about other external hosting options for ojpl.org, since maybe it is good not to put all of our oranges in one basket, as they say. Some possibilities being considered: DreamHost Shared Starter package (seems fine; $48 per year or $93.24 for 3 years which seems like a good deal but what are the odds that the Internet will still exist three years from now?; does not include email services), Linode Nanode Package (would have to install everything ourselves?, which is probably fine since that is what we do in-house anyway but does mean more work for lazy OJPL staff; $60/year for probably more storage/bandwidth/etc. than we need; Philly-based), Lithium Hosting Cloud Starter package ($30/year; includes email?; info on website seems fine, but not a lot of detail about who they are or what is actually offered in their plans).

Anyway, we have a little less than a month to decide on whether we find it worthwhile to put effort and precious, precious monies into the continuation of an accessible website and the ability to send you emails from management at ojpl.org or whatever. I mean, would you spend money on such imaginary nonsense as the OJPL, even keeping in mind the probability that all of your hoarded monies will lose their value once capitalism ends (probably within the next three years)? Anyway, let us know if you have anything to add to the discussion in terms of hosting service options that take environmental impact, labor relations, gender parity, user demand, etc. into consideration.

In other hosting news, the OJPL Department of All Things Hosting has decided that the OJPL Mānoa Branch will be hosting a party on the evening of July 6, because we have been informed that announcing events the same day that they are actually occurring might not be conducive to having people actually show up to said events. We'll await reports on the efficacy of one-month-in-advance party announcements that show up four paragraphs deep into a boring discussion of server politics that very few of you are actually reading. Nevertheless, I guess you are all officially invited to this party that is very definitely going to occur from 5pm-?? on Saturday, July 6, 2019, even though this is a time period so far into the future and how can we possibly know this for a fact?! Probably magic, that's how.**

*While most hosting companies like to tout their near 24-7 uptimes, we at the OJPL probably do not believe in promoting such unfair labor practices, and are known to let our servers take breaks, go on vacation, or have a sleep every now and then. This, of course, will sometimes mean that the website is inaccessible and that mail will be temporarily undeliverable or that you'll have to pour your own drinks or answer your own reference questions. Which, probably is fine.

**Yes, indeed, it turns out, the OJPL, in addition to being quasi-imaginary, is probably magic.

WEDNESDAY EVENING LISTENING CLUB

In lieu of the dissolution of the previously reported on Wednesday evening It's Lit Listening Club (which dissolved when the It's Lit show graduated and vacated its regular Wednesday night slot on KTUH), your newsletter committee is pleased to announce reports of a brand new listening club which has apparently been meeting Wednesday evenings at the OJPL Mānoa Branch. It is possible that some of you are definitely encouraged to stop by uninvited on Wednesday evenings to join the newly formed NYMPHOWARS Listening Club and remind the OJPL Mānoa Branch librarian that it is once again time to listen to the latest episode of her favorite 100% professional podcast about -REDACTED-.

OJPL GAMES AND SUCH

Májiàng this Sunday, June 2. Regular time, regular place. Might or might not include the presence of scones. Contact games at ojpl.org with questions.

OJPL FILMS

The OJPL Films department has totally been overheard talking about making more movies in the future. Also, they finally have the beginnings of a webpage in the new-look OJPL website, whose location is currently in flux, but maybe perpetually accessible through http://ojpl.info/poopfart or http://ojpl.org/you-will-never-find-what-you-are-looking-for-never-dont-ever-try.

Also, regular movie screenings have once again been occurring at the Mānoa Branch! These are generally very poorly attended, however, for legal purposes we should clarify that the OJPL Mānoa Branch also happens to be someone's residence and also that everyone that attends these events always totally consists of a small group of family and friends of aforementioned resident and that the OJPL is an imaginary public library system, so these screenings could hardly be considered public performances in the legal sense probably I'm not a lawyer I don't really care about your laws anyway whatever. Recent months' screenings have included such titles as Grandmother's Gold, Snowpiercer, GTFO: The Movie, Cowboy Bebop: The Complete Series, and Next.

ONGOING RAFFLE, OTHER ODDS AND ENDS

There still have not been any winners in our previously announced very official and serious and real OJPL Raffle in which various prizes totally exist to be won. Contact Raffle Coordinator Sadie Rosen with inquiries.

Branch librarians, please remember to send the newsletter committee any Branch updates that you would like to share, in terms of new acquisitions, personnel changes, change in policy, or general news. We're not really sure anymore what branches actually even exist and who exactly is an OJPL librarian. We vaguely remember hearing that a branch sprung up fully formed inside one of our patron's heads not too long ago, but we do not remember ever being informed of this branch's hours or collection management guidelines.

Okay, we're tired of writing. It feels like there was something important we wanted to tell you that we're forgetting though. Oh well.

Hugs and kisses,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

to opt out of future updates, respond to this e-mail with the subject message UNSUBSCRIBE and the frowny face emoticon of your choice

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OJPL Newsletter: Time Keeps on Ticking Ticking Ticking Until It Probably Explodes or Something

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Apr 7, 2019, 10:23 AM

---NEWS BREAK---

(April 6. Honolulu) CONTACT IS VERY IMPORTANT, DON'T YOU THINK?

Always running just a bit outside schedule, our intrepid news reporter managed to pop down to the Contact party event thing yesterday, which to her pleasant satisfaction was full of various awesome things and showcased multiple lovely folk featured in previous OJPL newsletters.

Ke Kōmike Mea Pāʻani member Dawn Sueoka demonstrated once again why she is consistently the committee's Most Valuable Committee member (sorry other games committee folk; we're just reporting the facts) with her curated bookshelf of game books. Check out the exhibits while they exist!

(April 7. Waikīkī) HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Also, happy new year! We are pleased to report that the OJPL Mānoa Branch participated in yet another new year celebration last night (so many, yeah?), this one of course being Cheti Chand, which obviously the Mānoa Branch will be celebrating for the next eight or forty or two days.

(This afternoon @ 4pm. Mānoa Branch) MÁJIÀNG IS BEING PLAYED!

Speaking of games and celebrations (which we were), you are all invited to Májiàng this afternoon/evening from 4-?. Come early and help prepare various food delicacies. Maybe there will be a games committee meeting and possibly a short musical interlude hosted by OJPL Music's music facilitation department. Full story to come (or not) in the future (which probably exists).

(April 8,9. Mānoa Branch) OJPL FILMS UPDATE

Assuming Movie Mondays is still a thing, the Mānoa Branch will be screening the movie 10. On Tuesday evening we will likely be viewing Assassination Nation.

---END NEWS BREAK---

P.S. Attention old school branch librarians: The University Branch will be on Oʻahu next month so maybe we should have high tea at some point probably?

---END POST SCRIPT---

missed out on previous OJPL Newsletters? check out the archive!

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OJPL Newsletter: PLEASE INSERT DISC AND PRESS PLAY

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Mar 20, 2019, 10:08 PM

Part I

Sadie Rose Rosen sat in what was either her home or the library or the library that was also her home and flippity flop, too vice versa, too, perhaps. Maybe. She wasn't quite sure. She had opened up her cookbook to some recipe for some kind of geometric cookie since she recalled that today or tonight or yesterday was according to her mother (Shelley) probably a holiday her family celebrated where they told a bloody story of politics and revenge. This was somehow related to eating tiny hats and you are all invited to the Mānoa Branch of the Orange Juice Public Library during official library hours to have a party, assuming that party having is somehow related to the traditions of Sadie's particular, um, traditional milieu and also whether or not Sadie feels like celebrating these traditions tonight or for the next eight days or so (Sadie always got confused about which holidays lasted how many days, so we should probably just settle on 8 for all the big ones). Anyway, come by for all the best in librarianship.

Part E

For the next part of our newsletter, we will discuss library politics. The OJPL Committee of Um, Resource Allocation or Something will be having their bi-monthly meeting whenever you feel like attending to give your opinions on resource allocation in regards to your favorite imaginary library system.

SOUNDTRACK: You're a cat. by The Librarians from pock-mark—zymurgy & SUPPLEMENTS.

End newsletter?


Love,
The Newsletter Writing Committee


TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS NEWSLETTER, JUST LET IT SIT IN YOUR SPAM BOX AND NEVER OPEN IT AND CERTAINLY NEVER READ IT AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T CLICK ON ANY OF THE LINKS

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OJPL Newsletter: Mixtape Edition (Year of the Bore, side A)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Mar 19, 2019, 3:02 AM

Well, we've titled better before, clearly. That said, here is another letter of news for various humans probably.

Greetings Various Probable Humans,

SOUNDTRACK: We are listening to A Material Thought by the Metadatas; Like a white bat in a box, dead matters go on by Melt Banana; World of Vibrations by Blackalicious; Please Hold On by The Librarians; 3:02 by Clutchy Hopkins from Gritty Committee Issue 3: RNA 12A-6A; Real Bad News by Aimee Mann; Mind Terrorist by Public Enemy; For the Longest Time by The Librarians; Into The Sky by Devi McCallion and Katie Dey; Golden Ocean by 50 Foot Wave. Di Di Di by hang on the box. He Leo Mai Kekahi i Kehaki by The Librarians from Still, We Die. curated by Rhythm Box 3.4.2.

Book Reviews

The cataloging department is still reviewing Gritty fuckin committee oh three (for cataloging purposes), but has such a fuckin backlog that it is hard for them to concentrate. Any catalog(u)ers or cataloger apprentices out there that want to join the OJPL Department of Naming and Describing Things To People That Are Not Themselves, please, please create such a department and do your best and/or worst. "I'm sitting here and I'm waiting, for you to contact me," said one of the OJPL Librarians who also thinks that it is important that we communicate.

OJPL Publishing

The OJPL Publishing sales department has not sold a book in the most discouraging amount of moons. Do they need a new official huckster or something?
   "Please, please, join our most fabulous staff and make all the profits," said Ged, who was not a character in the current official OJPL Novel being hatched from the bowels of the Orange Juice Public Library, whose newsletter you are currently reading.
   "You paint a lovely picture, but reality intrudes," said Aimee. "And that's real bad news."
   "Yes," agreed Ged. "That's real bad news." (Ged lived inside a science experiment-
al fiction novel)

OJPL Films

Las Películas Pōʻalua event resumes this Tuesday, although "resumes" is not perhaps the most useful word here. What movie will we watch at, um, 7 hours into the pm? Let us know at films @ ojpl.org (that's an electronic mail address; someone please explain what e-mail is to the children).

OJPL Raffle

Submit your heart and soul for a chance to win a shopping trip to the mall and/or a dinner at the cheesy restaurant of your choice that happens to also correspond to the name on the gift card that was donated to the OJPL Raffle Committee by its uncle. Or you could just mildly express interest. Either one is fine, I guess. Serious rafflers only.

Things were going so well. We were so in love with each other. But it turns out I was another sort of fish. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK NEWSLETTER FOR THE CONCLUSION TO OUR FABULOUS MIXTAPE (Year of the Bore, side B). FEATURING SUCH HIT SONGS AS: F is For Fish; Some other song?; A Song By a Pavement Cover Band?

Is that it? Are we done? Did everyone get all the news that was fit to, um, yawn. Sorry. What were we talking about? It is hard for me to hear you over all this music.

Signed,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee


The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee is currently made up of one person who maybe is a Bachelorette of Communication and a Mistress of Librarianship (and Information). Do you know the personal contact information of anyone that is good at creating newsletters and maybe needs some supplementary income to help them cover the cost of their belated honeymoon? If so, please tell them they are being recruited for committee work. There's lots of committees, we suppose. We suppose very much indeed.

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OJPL Newsletter: This World Could Be So Much Bigger Than It's Ever Seemed

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Sat, Jan 5, 2019 at 8:44 PM

Dear People Who Signed Up For The OJPL Newsletter and Haven't Yet Requested That We Stop E-mailing Them Newsletters,

My goodness gracious, things sometimes, eh? Been a while since the last newsletter, yeah? Well, time is relative, they say. Other things they say:

• "How you doing?"
• "At the sunrise. Haleaklā sunrise."
• "More coffee?"
• [something in Japanese]
• "Limited parking."
• [some other nonsense]

But enough about my morning spent breakfasting at my favorite pancake establishment. We've news to relate.

GRADUATIONS? NEW VISION?

LIBRARIES AFTER OUR OWN HEART?

BRANCH UPDATES

The Mānoa Branch

Gods, you fuckers are missing out. The Librarians lead peeuhnist sang a few songs tonight during the end of their first set, and OJPL Music staff tried out the new OJPL Karaoke setup. I think maybe definitely OJPL Karaoke is now available (we only have one automated song, but we take requests).

WELL, DEAR READER

Well, dear reader, it would seem as if we are never going to get out of here alive without shitting our pants. Other things they say:

• "Don't count your chickens if you don't have any chickens."

Okay, okay. So maybe I am getting just what I deserve. What about you? Satisfaction guaranteed, you know. Please. Please. Please contact us if you haven't been getting just what you deserve (satisfaction guaranteed). We don't have many skills here at the OJPL, but one thing we do have is the power of communication. I think we forgot to include the links to everything we have produced in the past few many many months. Anyway. Please. Pleeeeease give us some feedback on whatever you consume. Otherwise, how can we know how to formulate the future? This is one honest question. Anyway. I love you. All of you. Despite all odds. We're getting just what we deserve. I love you.

Love,
The Newsletter Writing Committee

P.S. Links:

• OJPL Music

[close]

OJPL Newsletter: Happy News Year!

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Fri, Jan 4, 2019 at 6:38 AM

Greetings Friends + Lovers, Library Associates, Other,

Welcome to the latest edition of the OJPL Newsletter, which, surprisingly, is still apparently a thing. Now, as you know, we here on the newsletter writing committee like to jest about the confusion caused by receiving a newsletter from an imaginary public library system, especially one that you did not even know existed, but we do empathize with those of you dealing with unsolicited shit that you simply did not sign up for. Anyway, if you would like to officially subscribe or unsubscribe from the OJPL Newsletter mailing list and receive and/or not receive the sure-to-be copious amounts of newsletter that maybe exist in the future, instructions can be found somewhere probably.

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED

Our faithful readers may have noticed a bit of a time gap since our last newsletter. Apparently, we were on strike maybe? Due to our benefits getting cut? We are happy to report that as of a few weeks ago, our health benefits have been restored. Yay! However, we are disappointed to report that our demands for multiversal health care have still not been met by the powers that be. Come on now, powers that be, this is unacceptable behavior!

BRANCH UPDATES

The OJPL Mānoa Branch has decided to pay its various landlords and utility companies for another month, so please come by to make use of its space and services and visit its lonely and underutilized library staff! Speaking of staff, there is currently at least one open position waiting to be filled. Contact Mānoa Branch librarian Sadie Rosen via management@ojpl.org with inquiries. No previous library experience necessary.

OJPL branch librarians, don't forget to send us your updates!

GRADUATIONS

Congratulations to all of you who have recently graduated from that which they used to be into what they are now. I am so proud of you. You are going to be great! And speaking of graduations, one of our OJPL News reporters recently covered a graduation ceremony that took place at a prominent Hawaiʻi research university. Featuring person-on-the-street interviews, fact-checking phone calls to HSPLS branch libraries, and unnamed sources, this fine piece of investigative totally real journalism (and more!) can be read over at the new-look OJPL News webpage.

LIBRARIES AFTER OUR OWN HEART

Your newsletter writing committee has been informed of a new Honolulu-based library/archive featuring zines and poetry and art books, oh my! Brought to you by the folks behind our favorite tiny zine library (mentioned in previous newsletters), this is sure to be an exciting development in the world of experimental library systems.

ACQUISITIONS OF NOTE

The OJPL Mānoa Branch has acquired a digital copy of its officially new favorite music album: Some New Form of Life, a collaboration between Devi McCallion and Katie Dey. OJPL Librarian Sadie Rosen says, "I am consistently inspired by the younger generations and amazed by the beautiful, heart-exploding arts that they produce." Stop by during branch hours to have a listen, or acquire a copy for yourself and/or your respective library branch.

The OJPL Acquisitions Department finally broke out of their book purchasing funk and acquired a copy of the critically acclaimed From From Hunger to Prayer by D. Kealiʻi MacKenzie. Your newsletter writing committee is consistently in awe of the beautiful people that continue to make poetry in this world, a bunch of whom performed at the very moving November book launch in Mānoa. In addition to being an accomplished poet, MacKenzie also happens to be an actual Master of Libraries (and an OJPL patron to boot!). Branch librarians, please contact the cataloging department to update your holdings records.

BEFORE WE FORGET

The various OJPL divisions released a bunch of content since the last newsletter, but since we are already running a bit long here, we'll just mention a few. OJPL Games and Such released a new interactive poetry game thing some months back from Dawn Sueoka: Afraid of Money. And more recently, some physically manifest fiction has once again begun to emerge from OJPL Publishing maybe? Oh, and also just that you might generally notice that our world is still currently undergoing construction, so beware of new things.

AS ALWAYS

Contact ojplpublishing@ojpl.info with any book-related proposals, unless you are trying to sell us an already published book, in which case you can contact acquisitions@ojpl.org, or maybe if you simply want to borrow a book from one of our library branches, contact circulation@ojpl.org. And don't forget to send your news tips to news@ojpl.info! These are all probably completely functional email addresses that someone might check on a sporadic-type basis maybe.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!!

Okay, dear readers, that's all for now. Take of each other.

Always with love,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

to opt out of future updates, respond to this e-mail with the subject message UNSUBSCRIBE and the frowny face emoticon of your choice

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OJPL Newsletter: Lazing on a Partially Sunny Afternoon (July Edition)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Thu, Jul 26, 2018 at 3:31 PM

Greetings Folks who read Newsletters Sometimes,

Welcome to the latest installment of the OJPL Newsletter, the newsletter brought to you by the Orange Juice Public Library. Now, there appears to be some confusion as to what the Orange Juice Public Library is and what it does and what is its purpose. Fair enough. It is okay to be confused about the nature of reality.

The News

The world is not what it used to be. Various things have happened. Various things of import. But it does not matter. There is no escape from the future.

Things of Note

Poetry? Trees?

OJPL Publishing Casting Call!!!

OJPL Publishing is holding its first official Casting Call for characters for the latest official OJPL Novel, part of which will once again be presented as a special edition at the upcoming Honolulu Printmakers annual Print & Book Fair (Nov. 2-3), assuming that OJPL Publishing pays the vendor fee and registers as an official vendor, which maybe might happen but who can say for sure.

Do you want to be a fictionalized character in a novel? Let us know! We will also accept storylines, plot points, stories within a story (a.k.a. short stories), poems, recipes, DIY instructions, academic essays, political manifestos, drawings, photographs, prints, pop-up book inserts, movies, music, etc., and so on (and so forth!).

(Might as well also consider this a general call for submissions for standalone works that you would like to see published by OJPL Publishing and affiliates, possibly for this year's Print and Book Fair. Last year saw featured works from four different OJPL-related humans, all of whom maybe were pleased with their participation. Tell your friends and family!)

Contact Sadie Rosen at ojplpublishing@ojpl.info with inquiries.

Anywhere You, The OJPL University of College

The first official class of the new OJPL U has begun, so welcome to the new semester or whatever. FILM 692 Special Topics in Librarianship: Comparative Film Theory has met the minimum requirement of 2 students and will be utilizing our new exploratory professorless classroom methodology. A number of assignments have already been given and various discussion questions are being created even as we speak.

Anywhere You is also offering COMM 102 Intro to Human to Computer to Computer to Human Communication: Relating Information to Your Various Publics, featuring such topics as "web design" and "coding" and "semantics." Classes begin whenever you can track down the class's instructor.

Branch Movement

The OJPL Boston Branch, which was temporarily located in Waikīkī, is moving to San Diego. Bon Voyage Boston Branch! The Branch's very professional head librarian will continue to maintain their duties as The OJPL Director of Virtual Reference (related, but not equivalent to the OJPL Imaginary Reference Services), and promised to one day maybe think about updating the official OJPL Restaurant guide.

Tuesday Movie Event

The OJPL Kahuaʻaihalulu Branch (the first official OJPL branch located in Waiawa, Oʻahu?) has announced that they held a Movie Night at 8:30pm on Tuesday, July 17th, where they screened Be Kind Rewind. All reports indicate that it was enjoyed by all who attended.


Okay. That be your news. Good day, madam/other.

Sincerely yours,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

OJPL Newsletters are brought to you by: OJPL News Bringing you imaginary news since [non-specific date]

to opt out of future updates, respond to this e-mail with the subject message UNSUBSCRIBE and the frowny face emoticon of your choice

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OJPL Newsletter: The So Much News, So Little News Edition

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Tue, Jun 19, 2018 at 4:24 PM

Greetings OJPL patrons, librarians, acquaintances, colleagues, people who have no idea what the OJPL is, friends, etc.,

Welcome to the latest manifestation of the OJPL Newsletter, brought to you by OJPL News, bringing you all the new things, all the time.

[This OJPL Newsletter is co-sponsored by OJPL Films: We Make Movies! Don't miss their newest short cinematic masterpiece, Sadie Sends a Text Message, available for a limited time maybe perhaps.]

So much has happened in the past, but we can't really be bothered to report it, since maybe we have just decided to go on strike or something. Management, am I right? When will they give us what we are due? Um...

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the more things change, the more they stay as they were before they became that which they are not. Um...

Okay, okay. We'll report some news then.

THE NEWS

MÁJIÀNG

Earlier this month, OJPL Games and Such hosted the first májiàng game at the Mānoa Branch. The Games Committee maybe knows how to play now and thinks it could be fun to play more games in the future. Possibly everyone on the committee will remember how to play and will be able to teach other people, too, or whatever. Still clarifying the points system and flowers and seasons and maybe a few other things, but um. Our OJPL News Games Reporter will maybe have a fuller report on the gaming event maybe perhaps maybe. OJPL News Photographer Kaila took many very good pictures and deserves credit. We all deserve a little credit, but please let us know if you do not want to be credited. Or whatever.

ALL THE WORLD'S A PLAY!

OJPL Games and Such, Division of Play-Related Activities is pleased to announce an upcoming Playbill exhibit, featuring playbills from New York, New York (it's a hell of a town, the Bronx is up and the Battery is down). Also, OJPL Community Theatre will be holding auditions for its upcoming play, which will probably be written by robots, cyborgs, and various human and non-human computers. Contact games@ojpl.org for details.

GAME RECOMMENDATIONS

Sources reveal that there exists in the world a game that our sources recommend. Our sources are very competent and trustworthy probably. They tell us that this game is called Redshift and Portalmetal.

A successful REFERENCE INTERACTION takes place across time and space!

Wanting to post some words to a bulletin board, but not knowing how for speak language, a member of the Kōmike Kumulāʻau o Ka Māla Kaiāulu o Mānoa approached the OJPL Mānoa Branch reference department with a very specific query about trees. Using specialized collaborative technology tools, the reference librarian was able to communicate with the Maunawili Branch librarian, whose specific skillset and dedication to information service led to a very satisfied patron. Special thanks to Keʻalohi for her very helpful recommendations.

MOVIE MONDAYS (and other cinematic events)

Movie Mondays, a.k.a. Pōʻakahi Películas, is still totally a thing. Recent screenings include the first season of the critically acclaimed television sitcom Four in a Blanket, and Alma and Dave Get Married (Again), a documentary about Alma and Dave Rosen, who get married (again). Various other film events have also taken place.

CIRCULATION STATISTICS

OJPL Mānoa Branch is happy to report that books have been circulating, such as the library copy of the Special Print and Book Fair edition of the upcoming novel from Ke Kahawai Nui Hou (an imprint of OJPL Publishing), On the Nature of Things That Flow. OJPL Branch Managers, please don't forget to submit your monthly circ stats to the OJPL Person That Probably Is Not Going To Compile Any Statistics Because Who Really Cares Anyway, Am I Right?

NEW ACQUISITIONS

Newly acquired things, both temporary and permanent, totally exist in various library branches. Please contact individual branches for more info.

[This OJPL Newsletter is co-sponsored by OJPL Films: We Make Movies! Check out their latest offering, in collaboration with OJPL News, OJPL Publishing, OJPL Music, and OJPL Games and Such, OJPL Newsletter: THE FILM.]

Okay, that should do it for this edition of the OJPL Newsletter. Best of luck to you! A hui hou!

With Love, The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

to opt out of future updates, respond to this e-mail with the subject message UNSUBSCRIBE and the frowny face emoticon of your choice

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OJPL Newsletter: Ikiiki, Lāʻaukūkahi, Year of the Dog (June)

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Fri, Jun 1, 2018 at 11:56 PM

Greetings OJPL Librarians, Patrons, Colleagues, Friends, General Acquaintances, others,

Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, and what's this? Have we reached the future already where it is time for yet another OJPL Newsletter? Well, let's not dilly dally. Here be your relevant news:

Nā Kiʻi ʻOniʻoni!

(May 28, 2018, Mānoa) OJPL Mānoa Branch, in conjunction with OJPL Films, held a special screening of Bladeroller (with freshly popped popcorn!) last Monday in what they have now decided is going to be a regular event called either Movie Mondays or Pōʻakahi Películas, depending on your particular language preferences. OJPL Movie Critic Sadie Rosen says, "Bladeroller easily ranks a 23 on my comparing movies in terms of how many times better they are than either of the Blade Runner movies scale." Contact the Mānoa Branch for info about future movie screenings, which are as yet unknown.

Branch News

(May 26, 2018, Maunawili) For all of you Koʻolaupoko patrons, you will be happy to hear that our newsletter writing committee has received word from the OJPL Maunawili Branch that, starting in August, their librarian will be refocusing their efforts and is hoping to increase those all important circulation statistics. We wish them all the best in their future library and non-library endeavors, which we are sure will be fruitful, re-freshing and fulfilling.
(May 2014-2018, Puʻuloa) Is there an OJPL Waiawa Branch? We think so. But why isn't this reflected on the OJPL website? Does it have something to do with the OJPL Department of Bureaucracy having once again lost the Waiawa Branch's official branch application? Perhaps. Only time will tell. Contact the OJPL Waiawa Branch librarian with any specific queries.

Recommended Art for Enjoying

(June 2-30, Kakaʻako) In case you missed last month's highly acclaimed Aupuni Space art exhibit (mentioned in a previous newsletter), the Kakaʻako-based gallery will be presenting the debut solo exhibition of one of last month's featured artists, Kainoa Gruspe. OJPL Appreciator of Artistic Things Sadie Rosen says, "Don't miss GOOD PAINTINGS: COMPETENT AND SATISFACTORY WORKS BY KAINOA GRUSPE. It is probably going to be really really good, I think."

And, speaking of paintings ...

OJPL Games and Such / New Acquisitions / Etc.

(June 1, Mānoa) OJPL Games and Such has recently acquired a new strategic and poetic card game (Kanagawa) in which "you must paint the most beautiful Print." One of two recent games acquisitions (already cataloged!), Kanagawa and Jack's Friends are available for play at the Mānoa Branch, or for lending to other OJPL branches, patrons, etc.


Also, OJPL Games and Such is super excited to talk about ...

Májiàng

(June 3, Mānoa) The first OJPL Májiàng Game will be taking place this Sunday, June 3rd, at 3:00pm at the OJPL Mānoa Branch, which is located near the 5 and 6 The Bus Routes at the bottom of Ānuenue Street. All are welcome for this inaugural gaming event which will turn into a quasi-regular game on a recurring day and time to be determined. Contact games@ojpl.org for more information.

Other News

(May 31, Mānoa) There have been recent reports that OJPL Publishing (in conjunction with OJPL Music) is exploring a new Hoʻolele Leo division to feature their totally new audio books that might or might not already exist in the OJPL Catalog [see here]. I am sure you will find what you are looking for, eventually, if you want, maybe.


Oh boy, that newsletter was way too long, right? Well, too late to turn back now. Until next time.

With Love,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter: Special Vinegar Edition!

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Fri, May 25, 2018 at 8:47 AM

Greetings various OJPL vinegar aficionados, others,

This is the special vinegar-related edition of the OJPL Newsletter, here to tell you about Raw Material, an Artist Curated Projects art exhibition that one of our OJPL Librarians stumbled across at the Aupuni Space Gallery/Studios on one of her rambling adventures through the city. Located at 729 Auahi Street (Kakaʻako?), this exhibit only runs until this Saturday (the 27th of May?), and is quite worth seeing, what with its awesome works of art and friendly curators. Of special interest to you vinegar lovers is Rebecca Maria Goldschmidt's Nabanglo a lamisaan / Aromatic table. Goldschmidt has been producing sukang ilocos vinegar in an exploration of her Filipinx heritage and collective cultural memory. She will activate her installation with vinegar tastings throughout the exhibition. Exhibit hours include today (Friday) and Saturday from 11am to 4pm and by appointment.



In other fermentation news, the OJPL Mānoa Branch has a new batch of kvass ready for tasting. Made with the mysterious bitter greens that grow in the Mānoa Community Gardens, this latest batch of kvass has a beautiful reddish hue! Kvass tasting available during irregular library hours and by appointment.

Acquisitions and Such

So much exciting news in the field of acquiring things. In addition to the latest record album by The HIRS Collective (still in cataloging, available at two OJPL branches), the Mānoa branch has added numerous (2?) zines to their excellent Zines and Such exhibit, including Unmanly and Hey is This Your Dog? (yet to be cataloged). We are also in talks to acquire Suka Suka Suka, the zine that accompanies the aforementioned vinegar exhibit. Let Politicians Read Poetry has been returned to The Tiny Zine Library, so it is no longer accessible at the Mānoa Branch. However, we totally recommend heading over to the Tiny Zine Library (currently located inside of Mori) and scoping out this month's featured zine by Thad Higa, which we think is maybe called Thirsting or something like that. We still have not acquired an issue of Lady Pasifika (mentioned in the last newsletter), however we did meet the super cool ladies that run it! The acquisitions department is willing to reimburse OJPL Librarians for up to one issue.

Games and Such

We are very excited to announce the start of the semi-regular Mah Jongg game that is totally going to happen probably. Not this weekend, though, because OJPL Games Consultant Dawn Sueoka has not yet picked out her special Mah Jongg outfit. So maybe the first weekend in June (June 3rd?). OJPL Mānoa Branch currently has two Mah Jongg sets and very limited knowledge of how to play. Contact games@ojpl.org with any inquiries.


Apologies to those of you who have already received this newsletter through our new exploratory in-person newsletter delivery system. Anyone who would like to take part in our various experimental news delivery systems, please let us know at news@ojpl.info.

A hui hou,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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OJPL Newsletter : A Rainy Day in May

from: news@ojpl.info
to: management@ojpl.org
date: Fri, May 11, 2018 at 5:02 PM

Greetings OJPL Librarians, Patrons, Other, and Friends,

How are you? So many things happening in the OJPL System these days. Have you heard about our new Games and Such division, featuring our awesome new "game" that is being featured? Also, there is other stuff been happening probably, too.



Tonight marked the last official night of our very successful art exhibition, Pololū : A Collaborative Work of Art, temporarily housed at the Mānoa Branch. Branch Hours will probably be extended tonight, if they have not yet been, but librarians are off duty as of now.

The night featured a brief piano recital by The Librarians' lead pianist. It also coincided with the weekly It's Lit Listening Club, which featured a discussion with the folks from Lady Pasifika. The acquisitions department has been notified to keep their eye out for this young magazine.

Are there upcoming events? Perhaps.

And a special thanks to the folks at Cycle Mānoa for fixing up the official OJPL Bicycle Book/Garden/Recycling-Mobile either this night or last.

Hoping you all are well,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

[newsletter may take a number of days to properly arrive, so please adjust your timeframe accordingly]

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OJPL Newsletter : Special Print and Book Fair Edition

from: management@ojpl.info
date: 2017-11-20 21:17

Greetings OJPL Friends, Librarians, Patrons, Acquaintances, and/or Other,

It has been some while since the last official OJPL Newsletter, and we here at the OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee do not really feel up to the task, what with our busy schedules and all. I mean, these committee meetings just never end, am I right? Anyway, the Honolulu Printmakers Print and Book Fair is this weekend at the Honolulu Museum of Art School (formerly Linekona, across from Thomas Square). Friday evening 5-9, and Saturday 10-6. The publishing arm of the OJPL (OJPL Publishing) will have a table, where we will feature so many of our wonderful OJPL books, created by a diverse array of OJPL patrons and librarians. Featuring: Chapbooks! Plot twists! Interactive fiction! Hexaflexagon books! Please stop by to partake of our wares! Tell your friends and enemies! Assuming there are enough chairs, OJPL Librarians are more than welcome to join official OJPL huckster Sadie Rosen behind the desk and assist in her prime directive of the selling of books (this will, of course, count towards your Continuing Professional Development credits). Bring your kids! Studies show that people are more likely to purchase all of the books if children be selling the books. Fun for the whole family! Anyway, we would totally love to see you sometime.

Love,
Sadie
OJPL Newsletter Committee Spokesperson

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OJPL Newsletter : It's a New Library for a New World

from: management@ojpl.org
date: Sat, Jun 29, 2013 at 2:19 PM

Dear OJPL Friends, Patrons, Staff, Associates, etc.,

Yes, for a while it has been since the last newsletter. Perhaps this is your first OJPL Newsletter. Perhaps you forgot that the Orange Juice Public LIbrary is a thing that exists. Perhaps you no longer know how to read, due to the death of e-mail or whoever else it is that has died. We are truly sorry for your loss. Anywho, much news in the world of librarianship. Mānoa/Maunawili Branch's own, Annie Keola Kaukahi Thomas, is standing alone, persevering in her singleness of purpose towards bettering the world of librarianship, attending the Library Association (of America, no less) Conference in none other than Chicago. Your kind of town, Chicago is, but this means that the Mānoa Branch is temporarily short of staff and is looking for substitute librarians, so that the remaining on-duty librarian can go get a beer or something without worrying about those bothersome patrons (not you). Speaking of which, would anyone like to go "get a beer" or something with Jacob (phone number: 808.988.1075).

New News

There is a new application for a new branch. The application has been filled out and filed in the Branch Application Drawer. We do not remember who is the acting OJPL Director of New Branch Acquisitions. Is that you, Branch Branch? We recommend a meeting of official OJPL Branch Representatives at some time in the near or distant future for to discuss the admission of a new library branch. High Tea will be served.

Older News

The two most recent OJPL Branches have shifted location to maybe Waikīkī and Portland. Their names are now confusing, but no more so than the nature of reality.

Recent Acquisitions

Here are some recent acquisitions:

Books, comic books, records, CDs, DVDs, magazines, other.

This is a secret link to the old (current) catalog maybe: http://72.235.141.180/

The List Is Open! Apply Now

The OJPL Staff List is now open for applications. If you know someone that is not a librarian but would like to be a librarian, tell them to apply for a job as a librarian. Stranger things have happened. In other application news, please send in your requisitions to your friendly OJPL Finance Officer for funds to attend the upcoming semiannual J.L.A Conference to be held somewhere in the known universe.

Salutations

We hope everyone is doing well.
Sincerely,
The OJPL Newsletter Writing Committee

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