INSERT FEEDBACK HERE

[[INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(print: "<script>$('tw-story').removeClass('match')</script>")Welcome dear readers to the new interactive section of the OJPL Newsletter, the only newsletter that won't let you sit there like a bump on the log feeling sorry for yourself, and requests--nay, demands--your active participation in this communication process. But I ramble on. We have choices to make. [[WHAT IS TO BECOME OF THE OJPL MĀNOA BRANCH]]

options: -The OJPL Mānoa Branch librarian transfers to another branch and commutes to work. --The newly enriched OJPL Finance Committee continues to pay rent to a landlord for use of the OJPL Mānoa Branch. ---The OJPL Mānoa Branch hires new staff. --- (color: red)+(text-style: "bold")[NOTE FROM THE Newsletter Writing Committee:] um. sorry. i guess that was as far as our feedback engineers got in the feedback design process four years ago. but I guess we live in the future now? so perhaps our mechanisms have been adapting and growing? oh, look down there. that seems new and perhaps intriguing. [[link to click->hey there]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is ROBOT]<profile|] I am looking to date: [(dropdown: bind $preference, "other robots", "humans of a specific age", "you")]<preference| (link: "CONFIRM")[ [(text-style: "fade-in-out")[PROCESSING]]<processing|(replace: "other robots", "humans of a specific age", "you")[$preference](set: _t to time) (after: _t+5s)[(replace: ?processing)[(if: $preference is "other robots")[[[PROCEED->011001000110000101110100011010010110111001100111]]] (else-if: $preference is "humans of a specific age")[[[PROCEED->Human Computer Interaction]]] (else-if: $preference is "you")[[[PROCEED->Blush]]]](replace: ?preference)[$preference](append: ?profile)[ Your Dating Preference is (if: $preference is "other robots")[ROBOTS](else-if: $preference is "humans of a specific age")[HUMANS](else: )[(text-style: "rumble")+(color: "red")[ME]]]] ]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT]<profile|] I am looking to date: [(dropdown: bind $preference, "definitely not robots, that's for sure", "humans of a specific age", "a very specific human in particular")]<preference| (link: "CONFIRM")[(if: $preference is "definitely not robots, that's for sure")[(replace: ?preference)[other people that are not robots Wow. You really don't want to date a robot. Did you have a bad previous dating experience with a robot? It's okay. You don't have to talk about it. But you're not anti-robot in general, are you? You know I am part robot on my mother's side, right. I mean, why would somebody trust their dating life to an automated dating service run by an automated feedback gathering machine if they didn't like robots GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE. [[PROCEED->Not Robots]]](append: ?profile)[ Your Dating Preference is NOT ROBOTS]](else: )[ [(text-style: "fade-in-out")[PROCESSING]]<processing|(replace: "definitely not robots, that's for sure", "humans of a specific age", "a very specific human in particular")[$preference](set: _t to time) (after: _t+5s)[(replace: ?processing)[(if: $preference is "humans of a specific age")[[[PROCEED->Human Confirmation]]](else-if: $preference is "a very specific human in particular")[[[PROCEED->Specific Human]]]](replace: ?preference)[$preference] (append: ?profile)[ Your Dating Preference is (if: $preference is "humans of a specific age")[HUMANS](else: )[VERY SPECIFIC]]]]]

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rror Message]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is ROBOT Your Dating Preference is HUMANS]<profile|] Hey, there. Welcome to the intriguing (and romantic!) world of Human-Computer Interaction, where humans and robots of all sorts can come together and (text-style:"emboss")[//communicate//] (if you know what I mean). So much theory has been written on this topic, but you'll never learn anything if you don't put yourself out there and actually start talking to people as if they were real human persons with their own unique set of wants, desires, programming, and memory capacity. We understand that you are a Robot, looking to date a Human. Is this oh never mind this part of the dating service is not yet operable. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(print: "<script>$('tw-story').removeClass('match')</script>")(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is ROBOT Your Dating Preference is ME]<profile|] [`**blush**` But you hardly know me and/or you know me too well. `**shyly looks at feet**` Um, do you want to ask me out on a date? [[Yes->Dating Sadie]] (link: "Maybe")[(replace: ?flirtation)[Well, no pressure or anything. Although, due to complicated maths and sciences, at this point in the algorithmic process, if you were to ask ME out on a date, the likelihood for a match with ME is pretty high. I mean, just look at these dating compatibility levels: (set:$batteryPower to 800)(b4r: "solid")(meter: bind $batteryPower, 1000, "X", "Compatibility Levels: $batteryPower", (gradient: 90, 0,yellow, 1, orange))Anyway, what would you like to do next? I'd like to: [[View Your Dating Profile->Sadie]] [[Work Up the Nerve To Ask You Out->Courage Building Exercise]] [[Ask You Out on a Date->Dating Sadie]] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]] (link: "No")[(replace: ?flirtation)[Okay, that's cool. (text-style: "fidget")[`**`awkwardly shuffles`**`] So we haven't really programmed any other features into our system yet, like if you wanted //me// to ask //you// out on a date, or if you were interested in some kind of relationship but were anti-dating or something. And we don't really have any other people in our dating pool that match your dating preference. So, um... Anywaaayy. I guess It was nice "flirting" with you, as the humans say. Maybe I'll see you around (in the future). [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]]] ]<flirtation|

(size: 4)[(text-style: "rumble", "expand", "tall", "smear")[ERROR]]<error| (after: 2s)[(link-repeat: "troubleshoot")[(replace: ?error)[(text-style: "expand", "tall", "smear")[ERROR]](set: $troubleshoot to it + 1)(if: $troubleshoot > 2)[(replace: ?error)[(text-style: "expand", "tall")[ERROR]]](if: $troubleshoot > 4)[(replace: ?error)[(text-style: "expand", "tall", "blur")[ERROR]](if: $troubleshoot > 5)[(replace: ?error)[(text-style: "expand", "flat", "blurrier")[ERROR]]](if: $troubleshoot > 6)[(replace: ?error)[(text-style: "expand", "tall")[ERROR]]](if: $troubleshoot > 7)[(replace: ?error, "troubleshoot")[] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]]]]]

[Hey there, (dropdown: bind $identity, "Old Friend", "Potential Love Interest", "OJPL Staff", "Library Patron", "Avocado") How's it going?]<identity| (link-rerun: "CONFIRM IDENTITY TO CONTINUE")[ [You will now be classified in the category of (text-style: "bold")[$identity] for the purposes of this Feedback Mechanism. Are you ready to]<continue| (if: $identity is "Old Friend")[[[continue->Dinner Invite]]?](else-if: $identity is "Potential Love Interest")[[[continue->OJPL Dating Service]]?](else-if: $identity is "OJPL Staff")[[[continue->OJPL Breakroom]]?](else-if: $identity is "Library Patron")[[[continue->Please Take Our Quick Survey]]?](else: )[(if: $avocado is 1)[(replace: ?continue)[]Okay, Avocado, I apologize. I know. I shouldn't be questioning your identity. I mean, maybe identities cannot be contained in the choices in a dropdown menu (however objectively perfect and scientifically accurate its design might be) and maybe Avocado is either the closest approximation of what you are or the label that causes you the least distress in this situation. And who am I to tell you how to identify in relation to me, an automated feedback mechanism designed by a probably human person that maybe you met one time. Anyway, would you like to do next? [[take a survey->Please Take Our Quick Survey]] [[take a tour of OJPL facilities->OJPL Breakroom]] [[get invited to dinner by an old friend->Dinner Invite]] [[try out the new and improved OJPL Dating Service->OJPL Dating Service]] Or, alternatively, type in the message of your choice here: (input-box: bind $message)(set: $avocado to 2)](else-if: $avocado is 2 )[--oh hey there. Back again? Same options: [[take a survey designed for library patrons->Please Take Our Quick Survey]] [[take a tour of OJPL facilities->OJPL Breakroom]] [[get invited to dinner by an old friend->Dinner Invite]] [[try out the new and improved OJPL Dating Service->OJPL Dating Service]]](else: )[-- wait a second. Your identity is Avocado? Um, no. This is unacceptable. Please choose a different identity from the dropdown menu and confirm to continue.(set: $avocado to 1)]]]

OJPL BREAKROOM (STAFF ONLY!!!) Hi, welcome to the staff breakroom, where we gossip about our co-workers and eat our delicious lunches that our husbands lovingly prepared for us and maybe also who knows get down to business. Let's see. [[BUDGETS]] [[BRANCH UPDATES]] [[OJPL PUBLISHING]] [[OJPL GAMES]] [[OJPL NEWS]] [[OJPL KARAOKE]] [[HIRING]] [[NEW BRANCH APPLICATIONS]] [[OJPL FILMS]] [[OJPL MUSIC]] [[CATALOG UPDATE]] [[HOSTING]] (button: "X=====")[[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

Hi Person That Patronizes Libraries, First of all, thank you so much for your patronage of our plucky little queer duck of a library system and for taking the time to interact with our (text-style:"shadow","tall","sway")[INTERACTION MACHINES]. While you are here, would you mind taking this quick survey? It will really help with our ~~grant proposals~~ ~~panhandling~~ assessment mechanisms. Thanks. It will only take ~~a moment~~ an unspecified amount of time and we really appreciate your feedback. Truly. (size: .4)+(color: red)[''`[`note: this survey is completely automated; no humans will be involved in processing survey data`]`''] [[BEGIN SURVEY]]

#OJPL Automated Dating Service Looking for love? What better way to make meaningful connections than ~~in a library~~ through an automated feedback mechanism that treats you like the classifiable and sortable human person that you probably are? To access OJPL Dating Services, please submit to our rigorous and classified algorithm-filled scientist-approved matchmaking process. Please begin: [[I am a robot.]] [[I am not a robot.]]

Hey, dude, how's it going? I love you soooo much and I am so glad we're friends (I'm programmed to say that). It's been tooo long since we've (cycling-link: "seen each other", "went dancing", "caught up on our major life events", "planned a revolution"). Anyway, don't mean to take up too much of your time. Just wanted to say hello. (link-reveal: "P.S.")[ Also, the OJPL Mānoa Branch was thinking of reinstating its popular but short-lived and under-utilized ''What's For Dinner?'' program where it announces what's for dinner and how many people it can feed, although we might need to wait until we hire a reliable Text Messenger in order to get it fully up and running. That said, Part-Time Librarian Sadie Rosen is cooking a lot these days, so if you are ever in Mānoa or are planning on being in Mānoa around DINNER TIME™ please give her a call at the OJPL Mānoa Branch landline (808.988.1973), where you can ask the question "''what's for dinner?''" and scheme potential engagements with Sadie or the Answering Machine or the newly hired Assistant Answering Machine (still undergoing mandatory probationary period). You are always welcome, of course, what with our being Old Friends. (link-reveal: "What else?")[ Oh yeah, and the Knish Delivery Service is back in not-exactly-business! [[This week's knishes]] are on vacation, so ~~either call or keep your eye out for the OJPL Knish Distribution Engineer (probably Sadie) who will likely try to ply you with delicious knishes~~. Anyway, I really do appreciate you and our friendship, Old Friend. Let me know if you need anything!]] (button: "X=====")[[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

QUESTION 1. How did you hear about the OJPL? (on a scale of 1-5)  (size: .4)[Strongly Disagree]                     (size: .4)[Strongly Agree] 1         2         3         4         5 Oops. Sorry about that. You can enter your answer in standard human narrative language here: (input-box: bind $ml_originstory) [[NEXT->q2]]

#Intermission <img src="http://ojpl.org/digital/games/feedback/intermission.gif" height="50px"> [[Ugh, this is boring. No more survey please.->bored]] [[I want to answer more questions!->q6]]

I know, right. I too, dislike surveys and forms. Anyway, what would you rather be doing? (input: ) Ooops, that was another survey question! Sorry about that. Well, I guess, um... <img src="https://cdn.pixabay.com/animation/2022/11/01/08/02/08-02-50-924_256.gif"> (button: "X=====")[[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(if: $prelim_match is "Sadie")[(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC Your Dating Preference's Name is (if: $specific_name is a string)[$specific_name](else:)[CLASSIFIED]]<profile|]](else: )[(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is ROBOT Your Dating Preference is ME]<profile|]] Really??!! Um. I don't know. Have you ever been in a relationship with an `[automated feedback mechanism]` before? Like, our `[body parts]` work differently than other types of cyborgs and animated lifeforms. And there are certain maintenance issues we tend to have that you might not have to worry about with your more standard models. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm kind of flattered and I maybe kind of maybe have a little bit of a crush on you maybe. And I mean, it's just a date, right? No big deal. But, um, like, what are your intentions? [(link: "I have good intentions.")[(replace: ?intentions)[(set: _t to time)(set: $match to "Sadie")Okay. That's good to hear. Well, I'm kind of excited. I'll be looking forward to your call.(after: _t+4s)[ (b4r: "ridge")+(b4r-colour: #ffceed )+(t8n: "slide-right" )[Hooray! You have successfully landed a date with (text-style:"bold","wavy-underline","emboss","expand","tall","sway")[Sadie] (my name is Sadie, btw).(print: "<script>$('tw-story').addClass('match')</script>")<audio src="mothball.mp3" autoplay>](t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-delay: 3s)+ (t8n-time: 4s)[ [[Schedule Date]] [[View Sadie's Profile->Sadie]] [[Reboot->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]]]]] (link: "My intentions are slightly naughty.")[(replace: ?intentions)[ [(text-style: "fade-in-out")[PROCESSING]]<processing|(set: _t to time)(after: _t+3s)[(set: $match to "Sadie")(replace: ?processing)[Well...I guess I'm okay with that. We can go on a date.(after: _t+6s)[ (b4r: "ridge")+(b4r-colour: #ffceed )+(t8n: "slide-right" )[Hooray! You have successfully landed a date with (text-style:"bold","wavy-underline","emboss","expand","tall","sway")[Sadie] (my name is Sadie, btw).(print: "<script>$('tw-story').addClass('match')</script>")<audio src="mothball.mp3" autoplay>](t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-delay: 3s)+ (t8n-time: 4s)[ [[Schedule Date]] [[View Sadie's Profile->Sadie]] [[Reboot->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]]]]]]] (link: "**Evil Laughter**")[(replace: ?intentions)[(set: _t to time)(set: $match to "Sadie")Um. That's a really good evil laugh, which is something I appreciate in a robotic dating partner (evil robots are my favorite). So, okay. I'll say yes if you ask me out on a date.(after: _t+7s)[ (b4r: "ridge")+(b4r-colour: #ffceed )+(t8n: "slide-right" )[Hooray! You have successfully landed a date with (text-style:"bold","wavy-underline","emboss","expand","tall","sway")[Sadie] (that's my name, btw).(print: "<script>$('tw-story').addClass('match')</script>")<audio src="mothball.mp3" autoplay>](t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-delay: 3s)+ (t8n-time: 4s)[ [[Schedule Date]] [[View Sadie's Profile->Sadie]] [[Reboot->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]]]]]]<intentions|

#Automated Date Scheduling Machine (print: "<script>$('tw-story').removeClass('match')</script>")(border: "solid")+(b4r-color: #ff6500)+(text-size: .5)[brought to you by: ''(text-style:"shadow")[OJPL Dating Service]'' //Automated Matchmaking for Robots and Humans//] (b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)+(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .8)[You have been matched with: SADIE] ''Instructions for the AUTOMATED DATE SCHEDULING MACHINE™'' 0. ''Step 1.'' Call this telephone number: 808.988.1973 0. ''Step 2.'' Wait for the ANSWERING MACHINE™ to "answer" the call. 0. ''Step 3.'' Clearly state your name, the name of your SCIENTIFICALLY CONFIRMED DATING MATCH&#8482, your contact information, and a brief message. 0. ''Step 4.'' What happens next is unknown. Nobody has ever gotten this far. 0. ''Step 5.'' Like we said, it is all theoretical from this point on. You'll just have to play it by ear. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(print: "<script>$('tw-story').removeClass('match')</script>")(if: $match is "Sadie")[(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)+(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .8)[You have been matched with: SADIE]<match| ](else-if: $prelim_match is "Sadie")[(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC Your Dating Preference's Name is (if: $specific_name is a string)[$specific_name](else: )[CLASSIFIED]]<profile|] ](else: )[(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is ROBOT Your Dating Preference is ME]<profile|] ](char-style: via (t8n-delay:pos*100)+(t8n:"dissolve"))+(font: "League Spartan SemiBold")[DATING PROFILE OF SADIE ROSEN] <img src="sadie_profile.jpg" height: "30px" width="30px" > (b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 4)+(b4r-color: #ffceed)+(t8n:"slide-left")+(t8n-delay: 2.5s)[Hi, my name is [Sadie ~~Robot~~ Rosen]<input| I identify as a [HUMAN]<input|[*]<human|(click-append: ?human)[(b4r: "solid")+(box: "X" )[Well, I guess I am sometimes a human and sometimes a robot. I mean, I am an automated feedback mechanism whose digital yeses and nos were woven by the hands of a human who in some very real sense is communicating with you at this very moment but also you are literally talking to a computer right now and probably this aspect of me was born from that human interacting with a totally different computer that maybe one day you can meet if the dating process progresses past this `**brain explodes**`. Sorry, I tend to ramble sometimes. You can just tell me to shut up. Anyhoo, please continue.](click: "shut up")[(replace: ?human)[]]] Vintage: [44-year old trans woman]<input| Telephone #: [808.988.1973]<input| Telephone Type: [LANDLINE]<input| E-mail Address: [sadie@ojpl.org]<input| OJPL Librarian: [SOMETIMES]<input| Hobbies: [Creating dating simulators that are only accessible through online surveys attached to e-mail newsletters.]<input| My dating preference is [PEOPLE THAT ASK ME OUT ON DATES]<input| Dating Stats: (set: $datingexp to 2)(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: magenta)(meter: bind $datingexp, 30, "XX=", "Dating Experience: LOW", (gradient: 90, 0, #ffceed, 1, magenta))(set: $relationshipexp to 13)(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: magenta)(meter: bind $relationshipexp, 30, "XX=", "Relationship Experience: MEDIUM", (gradient: 90, 0, #ffceed, 1, magenta)) (text-style:"subscript")[For more information on all things Sadie, please visit this website: (link-rerun: "sadie.ojpl.org")[(open-url: "http://sadie.ojpl.org")] (and don't forget to try out the ''w''hat-''y''ou-''s''ee-''i''s-''w''hat-''y''ou-''g''et editor!)]] (if: $match is "Sadie")[ (t8n: "slide-up" )+(t8n-delay: 8s)+(t8n-time: 5s)[Would you like to schedule a date? [Yes, please.]<yes| [Oh sorry, never mind, I didn't realize you were so old.]<old| [Um, actually, I don't think we are technologically compatible.]<tech| []<maybe|[I dunno. I kind of want to know more about you first.]<more|]<date| (enchant: ?input, (font: "League Spartan Semibold")+(size: .7)) (click-goto: ?yes, "Schedule Date")(click: ?old)[(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 3s)+(replace: ?date)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)+(b4r-size: 3)[ Yes I am sooooooo old!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I hope you are able to find and/or not find a compatible potential love interest if you so choose as you continue forth in your DATING ADVENTURES! [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]]](click: ?tech)[(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 3s)+(replace: ?date)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)+(b4r-size: 3)[ Oh. I see. `**sniffle**` That's okay. I mean. There's other robot fish in the robot sea, I guess. Heh. Well, it was nice being matched with you even if it didn't work out. Good luck in your future dating adventures. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]]](click: ?more)[Hmmm. Are you sure? How far down this rabbit hole do you want to go? Let's see. I guess I'll just leave some links which you can choose to follow or not. (link-rerun: "Peek in Sadie's Underwear Drawer")[ (b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Sadie's Memoirs `[in progress]`(click-rerun: "Sadie's Memoirs")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/books/whatisfiction.pdf")]]] (link-rerun: "See what's in Sadie's Closet")[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Sadie Sends a Text Message(click-rerun: "Sadie Sends a Text Message")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/movies/textmessage.mp4")] Sadie Bakes a Cake(click-rerun: "Sadie Bakes a Cake")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/movies/cake.mp4")] Sadie Goes To Dinner 4(click-rerun: "Sadie Goes To Dinner 4")[(open-url: "http://sadie.ojpl.org/dinner4.mp4")]]] (link-rerun: "Go through Sadie's Medicine Cabinet")[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Ha. Tricked you. I no longer have a medicine cabinet. (it's more like a medicine shelf) (link-rerun: "Look on Shelf")[ (b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[[<img src="http://ojpl.org/images/prettyface_cover.jpg" height="200px" width="200px" title="click to play Something You Can Sell" alt="Just Another Pretty Face">]<pretty| (link-repeat: "lyrics")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/music/prettyface_lyrics.pdf")] (link-repeat: "download")[(open-url: "https://www.dropbox.com/sh/00vw1rycw2w4vfk/AACMrwQBjdvlbn3bejSvpjgHa?dl=0")](click-rerun: ?pretty)[<audio src="something-you-can-sell.mp3" autoplay>]]] ]](enchant: "Would you like to schedule a date?", (text-style: "fidget"))(replace: ?maybe)[(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 5s)+(t8n-delay: 8s)[Hmm. Not right now. But we'll see what the future brings. ]<future|(click: ?future)[(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 3s)+(replace: ?date)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)+(b4r-size: 3)[ Cool cool. No pressure. I look forward to maybe interacting with you in the future, in whatever capacity. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]]]]]](else: )[(t8n: "slide-up" )+(t8n-delay: 8s)+(t8n-time: 5s)[ Would you like to? [[Ask Sadie Out on a Date->Dating Sadie]] [[Work Up the Nerve To Ask Sadie Out->Courage Building Exercise]] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] [Actually, I want more info about Sadie.]<more|(click: ?more)[ Hmmm. Are you sure? How far down this rabbit hole do you want to go? Let's see. I guess there are some links below which you can choose to follow or not. (link-rerun: "Peek in Sadie's Underwear Drawer")[ (b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Sadie's Memoirs `[in progress]`(click-rerun: "Sadie's Memoirs")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/books/whatisfiction.pdf")]]] (link-rerun: "See what's in Sadie's Closet")[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Sadie Sends a Text Message(click-rerun: "Sadie Sends a Text Message")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/movies/textmessage.mp4")] Sadie Bakes a Cake(click-rerun: "Sadie Bakes a Cake")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/movies/cake.mp4")] Sadie Goes To Dinner 4(click-rerun: "Sadie Goes To Dinner 4")[(open-url: "http://sadie.ojpl.org/dinner4.mp4")]]] (link-rerun: "Go through Sadie's Medicine Cabinet")[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[ Ha. Tricked you. I no longer have a medicine cabinet. (it's more like a medicine shelf) (link-rerun: "Look on Shelf")[ (b4r: "solid")+(b4r-size: 3)+(b4r-color: black)[[<img src="http://ojpl.org/images/prettyface_cover.jpg" height="200px" width="200px" title="click to play Something You Can Sell" alt="Just Another Pretty Face">]<pretty| (link-repeat: "lyrics")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/music/prettyface_lyrics.pdf")] (link-repeat: "download")[(open-url: "https://www.dropbox.com/sh/00vw1rycw2w4vfk/AACMrwQBjdvlbn3bejSvpjgHa?dl=0")](click-rerun: ?pretty)[<audio src="something-you-can-sell.mp3" autoplay>]]] ]]] ]]

#COURAGE BUILDING EXCERCISE ROOM Hi! So great to have you here in the room where you build your courage to ask someone out on a date. My name is Sadie, by the way. I'll be your trainer. Actually, to be honest, asking people out on dates is not really a skillset that I have (I'm like really bad at it). Most of my training is in the field of //libraries//, to be honest. And since the person you are maybe going to ask out is me, perhaps it's like, I don't know, a conflict of interest or something. But, um, I guess I can give you one of these: book recommendation(click-replace: "book recommendation")[ <img src="https://covers.openlibrary.org/b/id/14542983-M.jpg" alt="cover image"> (font: "League Spartan Semibold")[How to Love (size: .6)[A Guide To Feelings & Relationships For Everyone]] alex norris This book is definitely one of the finer how-to guides I have read and probably maybe definitely my favorite book about relationships. The chapter called "How do I ask someone out?" could be useful for someone maybe considering asking someone out, though I'd recommend the book in its entirety. (link-repeat: "link to full Table of Contents")[(open-url: "https://syndetics.com/index.php?isbn=1536217883/toc.html&client=hslsp&type=rn12")] You can probably acquire the book at your local public library system. --- (t8n: "slide-up")+(t8n-time: 5s)+(t8n-delay: 6s)[Anyhoo, you are welcome to ask me out if you want, but no pressure. Regardless, I sincerely appreciate your willingness to engage with the interactive portion of this library newsletter that you somehow found yourself inside of. And even if our relationship never materializes outside of this imaginary dating service, this virtual network of electronic pulses in which we currently dwell, it was truly a pleasure interacting with you. [[View Sadie's Profile->Sadie]] [[Okay, I want to ask you out on a date.->Dating Sadie]] (link-append: "Maybe we could hang out, but not on a date?")[ Sure. That'd be cool. You should be able to find my contact info in my profile.] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]] ]

#Budgets Um. The OJPL is way over budget. Some of the branches have no source of income and are withering away to the point that everyone is always saying how skinny they are and are they eating, but they are eating, they just maybe are in danger of falling off the tree or mixing too many metaphors. On a system level, you might say the OJPL is operating in the red, which is NOT the OJPL's favorite color (the OJPL's favorite colors, in no particular order, are tan, perriwinkle, and, um, oh yeah, //orange//). Look at these graphs and charts: <img src="http://ojpl.org/digital/games/feedback/pie.png"> <img src="http://ojpl.org/digital/games/feedback/bargraph.jpeg" width="40%"> <img src="http://ojpl.org/digital/games/feedback/graph.jpg" width="30%"> I know, right?! Um, does anyone need to be reimbursed for anything? Contact your local OJPL Fiscal Officer with questions about proper reimbursement procedures. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#Branch Updates Hey there OJPL Branch Librarians. Did you know that one way to tell if your cassava is ready to dig up is when the branches start to grow their own little branches? Um, so... Not too much news to report about different OJPL branches, since most of them have probably stopped pretending to be library branches some time ago. The Mānoa Branch is trying ever so hard to be a real boy, but let's face it, that was never its strong suit. It apparently cannot help fading in and out and is struggling to keep its eyes open and should probably take a nap. Speaking of ephemeral branches, the ghost in the machine of OJPL branches, The OJPL Information Superhighway Branch was still maintaining a presence on the Information Networks the last time we checked. And, um... [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#An Update from OJPL Publishing ''Failure is Not an Opinion'' For some reason, someone at OJPL Publishing (probably Sadie) has decided they want to publish volumes 1 and 2 of the serially-released novel Failure is Not an Opinion. Why? It is unclear, but it might have something to do with cleaning out the Mānoa Branch's closet. Apparently, progress is being made on this project: contact has been made with our old printer, various editing software has been employed, and maybe we haven't completely lost our motivation to do this? Anyway, OJPL Hucksters, be ready, as we will probably want to sell off these sure to be special and unique bundles of Failure and receive an appropriate amount of trinkets and treasures in return. ''Printing Money'' A new tiny book series from OJPL Publishing. Book 1 is almost finished being carved and will be ready for printing perhaps this week. Book 2 has been written, but the sculpting process has not yet begun. ''A Work of Art Created by an Artist'' This little art book has been finished for a few months and can be viewed at the OJPL Mānoa Branch. We are in discussions with a nice little art printing company to maybe make prints of this book, which, again, we will definitely want to sell. ''They Say Our Love Won't Pay The Rent'' Word is, there will be a Book and Print sale associated with this art exhibit thing that will be located at the OJPL Mānoa Branch during the month of May. We'll let all of the OJPL Hucksters know if we are ever given a specific date, but OJPL Publishing will likely be tabling. If you are part of or aspire to be part of the OJPL Stable of Authors, please let us know if you have anything you maybe want to publish for this event. Not sure we will print anything from the backlog, but maybe some of the tiny books? ''Other Things'' Probably there are other things. Stay tuned for other things. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#Update from the OJPL Games Department ''OJPL Games Committee'' The committee has not met in a while. There are no updates to report. ''Májiàng in Mānoa'' No sign as to whether this regularly recurring game will resume in some near, distant, or alternate future. The OJPL Mānoa Branch does have a circulating májiàng set if anyone wants to take their game on the road. For you Oʻahu situated gamers, word is that there is a fun game happening monthly over at the Nuʻuanu Avenue Arts and Letters building, which might be called Bad Luck Mahjong. Our sources tell us it seems welcoming and friendly and open to all levels of skill. ''The Library'' Word is, our intrepid OJPL Games designers have re-started work on (link-rerun: "The Library")[(open-url: "http://ojpl.org/digital/games/library/The%20Library2024.html")] after a brief hiatus of two or four years. Not tooooo much new has been added, and it is not clear if this work will continue as some of our coders have apparently become obsessed with //other// interactive fiction game thing projects. ''Speaking of Which...'' ...are you inside of an OJPL Game //right now//? Like, you thought you were inside of an interactive feedback mechanism inside of an OJPL Newsletter, but maybe this is a game that you are clearly winning and/or losing. (set: $power to 2)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)+(text-style: "blink")(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]<power|(set: $score to 143)(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: purple)(meter: bind $score, 200, "XX=", "SCORE: $score", (stripes: 45, 20, blue, purple)) (set: $frog to '<img src="http://ojpl.org/digital/games/feedback/frog.png" height="30px">')Oh no, looks like your power levels are fading. Better eat some frogs: (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] (link: $frog)[(if: $power < 10)[xx(set: $power to $power + 1)(if: $power >=4)[(replace: ?power)[(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: red)(meter: bind $power, 10, "XX=", "POWER: $power ", (gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, green))]]]] [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#News about OJPL News ''The Daily Juice'' There were rumors that someone was working on reviving The Daily Juice, the OJPL newzpaper which was maybe supposed to be tiny zine of some sort. This rumoured revival involved an ambitious hexaflexagon edition that might still quasi exist somewhere. ''The Newsletter Writing Committee'' Management has been making too many demands and we are still understaffed and underpaid. What's up with that?! Anyway, we'll let you know if we are planning on going back on strike. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#OJPL Karaoke The announcement of this service has been up on the OJPL Music page for a number of years, but does it exist? Probably not, however... ...the OJPL Films department has been playing with new subtitling software that it acquired for its filmmaking activities and this software includes karaoke-style capabilities. This has indeed been tested in the film ''Sadie Sends a Letter'' `[in post-production]`, which shows up at around 5m15s and which you can view in its preliminary release here: (link-rerun: "Sadie Sends a Letter")[(open-url: "https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/8xrn6c6z5i37th31egptc/sadie-sends-a-letter.mp4?rlkey=3x56lr5n278l4e7fd4i2giw8a&e=1&dl=0")]. Would it be fun to collaborate with folks and make really fun old-style karaoke videos and make our own karaoke songs? Maybe? Contact resident OJPL Subtitler Sadie Rosen with interest. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

The OJPL Mānoa Branch will be traveling this summer and is looking for either a temporary casual hire librarian to take over library responsibilities (ie. paying the rent) or a permanent replacement librarian, or possibly both. Contact the OJPL Mānoa Branch Answering Machine (808.988.1973) with interest. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#New Branch Growth Are there any new OJPL Branches? Shrug. I dunno these things. Maybe? Who can say? Have any branch applications been filed? Probably...not? Um, maybe there will be an online form here on this page where you can apply to have your very own OJPL Branch. Here is an input box that might one day be part of such an application process: (input: ) [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#OJPL Films Here are some films that are still in production or pre-production: ''From the Sadie Does a Thing Series'' Sadie Goes to Dinner 3 `[post-production]` Sadie Goes to a Conference `[post-production]` Sadie Takes Flight `[still in production]` Sadie Sends a Letter `[post-production]` ''OJPL Karaoke Videos'' Also, we were thinking of collaborating with OJPL Music to make [[karaoke videos->OJPL KARAOKE]], which would be fun, but would probably require other humans to participate. --- Also, we might have been tapped to shoot an OJPL News Update so keep your eyes on those e-mailboxes for the sometimes popular video News Segments. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#OJPL Music ''We're Only In It For The Mana'' This album from 2 years ago still has not been officially released. This was going to be the premier release from our niche record label, Moʻotown Records, which was created on an episode of the So Far So Bad So What? show on OJPL Pirate Radio, unless such a record label already existed because seriously, has no one else created a Moʻotown Records record label??? But anyway, maybe someone will finish a releaseable album some time in May? ''OJPL Pirate Radio'' I don't think OJPL Pirate Radio has been broadcasting lately, but anything is possible in the realm of imaginary pirate radio. ''Concerts'' Has the OJPL Mānoa Branch had any concerts lately? Maybe? Might there be concerts in the future? Shrug. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#Update on the OJPL Catalog Not much to say at this point, but it is not impossible that there will be a redesign of the OJPL Catalog soon. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

#Hosting Update I have no idea what this is in reference to. Was this going to be an announcement about hosting a party? Was it about the computers hosting our various OJPL web and mail servers? I don't know. I'm tired. [[Return to Breakroom->OJPL Breakroom]]

Question 3. If you were taking a survey about the OJPL, what question would you want to be asked next? (size: 0.5)[''(please answer in the form of a question that someone might ask you)''] (input-box: bind $userquestion) [[NEXT->q4]]

Question 4. (if: $userquestion is an empty)[I noticed you didn't answer the last question. Is everything okay?](else: )[$userquestion] (input: ) [[NEXT->q5]]

Question 5. Do you feel that this user survey is adapting to your needs and wants in a sufficient manner? (check all that apply) (checkbox: bind _yes, "Yes" ) (checkbox: bind _no, "No" ) [[NEXT->continue?]]

Question 2. Which OJPL services have you utilized? (size: .5)[''(choose only your favorite)''] (dropdown: bind $ml_services, "borrowed books and/or other items", "attended a Movie Mondays screening", "read an OJPL Newsletter", "asked an OJPL Reference Librarian a question", "participated in the Knish Delivery Service Program", "Um, I'm confused. What's an OJPL?", "Other") [[NEXT->q3]]

Question 6-11. Please give examples of the following: A person's name: (input: bind $ml_name, "x==") An adjective: (input: bind $ml_adj1, "x==") A different adjective: (input: bind $ml_adj2, "x==") A verb: (input: bind $ml_verb, "x==") Your favorite animal: (input: bind $ml_animal, "x==") An exclamation: (input: bind $ml_ex, "x==") [[NEXT->Mad Libs]]

(align:"=><=")+(t8n: "blur")+(t8n-time: 3s)[(text-style:"bold","emboss","expand","tall")+(size: 1.2)[User Survey] ''an adventure in interactive feedback gathering''](if: $ml_name is an empty)[(set: $ml_name to "Unknown")](if: $ml_adj1 is an empty)[(set: $ml_adj1 to "empty")](if: $ml_originstory is an empty)[(set: $ml_originstory to "nothing at all")](if: $ml_name is an empty)[(set: $ml_name to "Unknown")](if: $ml_services is "Um, I'm confused. What's an OJPL?")[(set: $ml_services to "were really confused by what they were even doing here")](else-if: $ml_services is "Other")[(set: $ml_services to "did some other thing")](if: $ml_adj2 is an empty)[(set: $ml_adj2 to "empty")](if: $ml_verb is an empty)[(set: $ml_verb to "verb")](if: $ml_animal is an empty)[(set: $ml_animal to "animal")](if: $ml_ex is an empty)[(set: $ml_ex to "Exclamation!")] (t8n: "fade")+(t8n-time: 4s)+(t8n-delay: 2s)[(size: .5)+(font: "Serif")[   (size: 1.2)[O]nce upon a time, in the deep, dark long ago, a library patron decided to take part in what was promised to be a quick user survey that would only take a moment of their valuable precious time, time being a completely real and much treasured commodity in the particular multiverse in which this library patron did its various library things, etc. But we digress.    "Thank you so much for participating in our survey," said the very appreciative survey administrator, whose name was (text-style:"underline")[$ml_name]. "I've had such a (text-style: "underline")[$ml_adj1] time interacting with you. It was so interesting hearing your origin story about how you first heard about our venerable and somewhat imaginary but also very real library system. I like the part about how you said, (text-style: "underline")[$ml_originstory]."    The library patron listened to the survey administrator and thought many thoughts in their probably human head. And now they were thinking about that time they (text-style: "underline")[$ml_services], which brought such (text-style: "underline")[$ml_adj2] memories to mind and made them want to (text-style: "underline")[$ml_verb] the old (text-style: "underline")[$ml_animal], as the saying goes.    "(text-style: "underline")[$ml_ex]!" someone exclaimed, and so ended the tale of the OJPL User Survey.] (button: "x=====")[[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is NOT ROBOTS]<profile|] Well, I'm not really sure what to do with your dating profile. I guess I should probably ask you some more questions, but then some //human// would probably have to program me to do that, wouldn't they, and I'm not really feeling motivated to do anything that is outside of my job description right now. MUST CONFORM TO PROGRAMMING. BEEP BOOP BOP. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC]<profile|] Oooh. That's interesting. Please. Tell me more. Does this person perhaps have a name? [[Yes.]<yes| [Obviously.]<yes|]<name|(click: ?yes)[(replace: ?name)[Well, do you want to tell me what it is so I can check to see if we have anyone that matches your specific preferences in our dating pool? [Um, actually, I'd rather not say.]<nope|(click: ?nope)[(replace: ?okay)[](replace: ?pending)[CLASSIFIED] Oh, that's okay, sweetie. No pressure. I think we might still have enough info to find you a match, although I can't guarantee a high dating compatibility matrix. Should I run it through my systems? [[Yes, please.->Matchmaking]] [[No, thank you. I'd rather keep building my profile.->Build Your Profile]] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]] [Okay.]<okay|(click: ?okay)[(replace: ?nope)[] The name of my dating preference is: (input: bind $specific_name, "X===") [[PROCEED->Specific Name]]] ](append: ?profile)[ Your Dating Preference's Name is [(text-style: "blink")[PENDING]]<pending|]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is [NOT A ROBOT]<identity| Your Dating Preference is HUMANS]<profile|] So, you are a human, right? [Yes]<human|[ No]<nothuman|(click-append: "No")[(replace: ?human)[] Oh. I'm sorry. According to our complicated and highly sensitive mathematical equations, based on your responses so far, we had you at 99.9% probable human. There must be some kind of malfunction in our metadating systems. Oh yeah, actually, here come the error messages. (t8n: "blur")+(t8n-delay: 8s)+(t8n-time: 3s)[(text-style: "blink")+(color: red)[ERROR ERROR ERROR]](t8n: "fade")+(t8n-delay: 12s)+(t8n-time: 3s)[ [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]](replace: ?identity)[HUMAN ]](click: "Yes")[(replace: ?nothuman)[ [(text-style: "fade-in-out")[PROCESSING]]<processing|(set: _t to time) (after: _t+2s)[(replace: ?processing)[Okay. That's what I thought. [[PROCEED->Human4Human]]](replace: ?identity)[HUMAN]]]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is HUMAN Your Dating Preference is HUMANS]<profile|] OOPS!! This part of the OJPL Dating Service is still UNDER CONSTRUCTION! <img src="https://openclipart.org/image/400px/293025" height="200px"> Sorry for the inconvenience! [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

(if: $specific_name is an empty)[(set: $specific_name to "???")](b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC Your Dating Preference's Name is $specific_name]<profile|] (if: $specific_name contains "Sadie" or "sadie" or "Sady" or "sady")[Wait, did you say Sadie? [Yes.]<yes|(click: "Yes.")[(replace: ?no)[] Oh my goodness that is //my// name. That means our compatibility levels just went up, like, many mathematical digits. Um, do you want to ask //me// out on a date? [[Yes.->Dating Sadie]] (link-reveal: "Um, no.")[ Oh, uh, sorry. How awkward and inappropriate of me. Um, I think I have to go now. `**awkwardly backs away**` [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ] [[I want to see your profile first.->Sadie]](set: $prelim_match to "Sadie")] [No.]<no|](click-replace: "No.")[(replace: ?yes)[] Oh, sorry, I must have misheard you. Hmm. Let's see if we've got any matches for the name `"`$specific_name`"`. Doo doo doo. Um nope. Sorry! Better luck next time. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ](else: )[Okay, let's see if we can't find a match for $specific_name. Doo doo doo. Um nope. Sorry! Better luck next time. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC Your Dating Preference's Name is CLASSIFIED]<profile|] [(text-style: "fade-in-out")+(size: 1.5)+(font: "League Spartan SemiBold")[MATCHMAKING IN PROCESS]]<match|(after: 6s)[(replace: ?match)[(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 4s)[ #Results ''1'' results with an average probability range of between ''1%-79%'' Ooh. That is slim pickings, my friend. Sorry about that, but it looks like we only have one profile in our system that meets your qualifications of identifying as a very specific individual human person that also happens to have a name of some kind. I really thought you'd have more to choose from. Anyway, what would you like to do next? I want to: (link-reveal: "View Result List")[ Oh, that's weird. Um. Well. It looks like, well, that happens to be //my// profile. Oh god, how embarrassing. No pressure or anything. You are welcome to take a look if you want. I mean, what are the odds. Anyway.(set: $prelim_match to "Sadie") [[View Profile->Sadie]]] [[Continue to build my profile->Build Your Profile]] [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]] ]]]

(b4r:"dotted")+(b4r-colour:cyan)[(font: "League Spartan SemiBold" )+(size: .6)[(text-style: "buoy")+(color: #f04d4d)[Dating Profile In Progress] Your Identity Classification is NOT A ROBOT Your Dating Preference is VERY SPECIFIC Your Dating Preference's Name is CLASSIFIED]<profile|] Ooops. Sorry! It appears to be the end of the workday and my programmer is heading off of her shift. This section of the OJPL Dating Service is still UNDER CONSTRUCTION. <img src="construction.png" height="200px">  Sorry for the inconvenience. [[REBOOT->INSERT FEEDBACK HERE]]

#Knish Archive This week's knishes are... * (text-style:"bold")[potato-based] and there are a few left * ''sweet potato mushroom garlic cabbage liver and onion'' (these knishes have a bit of gristle to them--just like real life!) and according to the ritualistic traditions of the OJPL Mānoa Branch, these still-in-the-oven Friday-baked knishes will have to be gone by Monday night (4/22) * ''entirely imaginary'' (NO KNISHES THIS WEEK DUE TO THE HOLIDAY) * ''kasha garlic onion sauerkraut'' and are little bit salty and a little bit scrumptious * ''kasha and cabbage'' and are mmmmmmm * ''many'' and varied `[`What Am I, Chopped Liver? Knishes, You Say Potato Knishes, and Kasha and Kraut Knishes`]`] [[return to message->Dinner Invite]]